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The Potential of Bad Days

Good days may not always provide the opportunity to show how good you are at your job. It is a well-handled bad day that could show your full potential and value.

We all have bad days. Horrible days when nothing goes as planned, and every worst-case scenario seems to be happening at the same time. As lyrics to a popular song by John Mayer goes, ‘bad news never has good timing’.

While all that is true, what is also worth thinking about is the bad days are also wonderful opportunities.

Bad days have the potential to be turned into a very good day.

Opportunities? Bad to good? How?

What is so opportunistic about that sale going to the rival company? What is so good about multiple clients giving ultimatums? What is so good about all tech glitches during important presentations? What is so great about multiple crises happening on the same day?

As a blogpost by Farnam Street points out- you are only as good as your worst day.

It is very easy to be calm, collected and feel like you have made it in life when things are going well. It is only during the times of crises, big or small that you truly get to display your skills, competence and experience. It is only during one of those days when you truly learn how much you can handle, how much pressure you can take and the incredible potential you have to overcome any obstacle.

Those bad days are the days when all the skills and wisdom you have developed over the years come in handy. On smooth sailing days, we are mostly on the autopilot mode, and in a way end up doing very monotonous and ordinary work. The bad days shake things up and force us to up the game.

Take for example this article by a writer on Medium. She was in the middle of an important presentation when the projector decided to give up. Technical glitches are out of our control at times, and can bog and demoralise even the most prepared speakers. What did this person do? She had to show some charts and graphs about quarterly profits. So, while she did the talking and added some humour in the situation by simply acknowledging the bane of a technology-dependent existence, she passed on her laptop to everyone, and by the end of her ‘presentation’, everyone had a personal view of the profits ‘thanks’ to the glitch.

It was the glitch that enabled her to be resourceful, use her wit and deliver. A smooth sailing presentation would have enabled her to simply show the quarterly profits and how good she was at her job. The glitch enabled her to show how she is not only good at her job, but how she is also good at handling unpredictable situations, how resourceful she can be and how quick-thinking she is. All those soft skills that must have been listed on the resume got their live demonstration and justification, right there.

Horrible days are not only great opportunities to showcase your true full potential and find lessons for ourselves, but also times when a shared humanity is on display, leading to lessons for others as well.   

Take for example someone, say, a fresher who may have been sitting in the audience of this person who handled the projector issue well. By acknowledging and overcoming the issue, the presenter not only showed her skills, but also showed that it is very human to encounter these issues, and there is nothing that can’t be figured out. This must have been an important lesson for the fresher, and the presenter must have proven to be a good role model. As we say, the best way to teach someone something is to model that behaviour ourselves.

It is also the worst days that enable us to value ourselves more. When we end up being productive on a day when we thought it would be impossible for us to be productive, we gain a new sense of self-respect anda rise in self-esteem. We realise what we are capable of.

So, the next time you realise that you are having one of those days, instead of getting bogged down in a pit of resentment and frustration, consider it as an opportunity to learn and grow. Consider it as an opportunity to explore the depths of your potential, resilience, and resourcefulness. Consider it as an opportunity to renew your self-belief. You might be pleasantly surprised.

How to Handle a Newly Created Position

A newly created position means you might have to be your own mentor and create your own systems from scratch.

You have just got a new job. In fact, it is not just a new job but it is also a newly created position.

Or perhaps within your current organisation, you have been shifted to a newly created position- you are the first person to hold this title.

Companies often create new positions based on their requirements, long-term goals and even due to concerns about employee retention. While such innovation is a great idea to ensure smooth transitions on paper, implementing it in real life can be challenging.

What can you do if you have been put in a newly created position? Read on!

Define, define, define:

A newly created position has no predecessors- no former holder of the position who could mentor or looked up to. No one knows how a day at work for them is going to look like. In such a situation, it is a great idea for the employer and employee to work in collaboration and define the working aspects of the role.

  • Define the expectations
  • Define the long term and immediate goals
  • Define the duties expected and not expected
  • Define who is going to be a part of the interactions in terms of departments, personnel, and teams

It might be tempting to wing it and make the new role as it comes, but before one could have a scope to learn, adapt and improve, some structure needs to be there. Think about it this way- while working in and with a newly defined role might feel freeing, like skating in an empty rink, it is also necessary to ensure the rink itself has strong railings and boundaries, and that one has an understanding about the kind of skates to be worn to ensure a graceful skating experience. A game, no matter how new, requires some rules to ensure there is some method to the madness.

 A newly created position means it is unlikely that a system is going to be in place. Working in already established roles has the benefit of simply replacing someone in an existing system. Working in a newly created role means you may have to develop a system, and that’s an opportunity to build a best, if not the best system. And the first step to do that is to define and concretize.

Be Flexible:

On the other end of this spectrum of defining expectations is the urge to follow a preconceived template of how systems are meant to function. It is important that one keeps an open mind, and remains flexible and receptive to the possibilities that might crop up.

It is also possible that the expectations and systems that you defined and set up earlier may become unnecessary, obsolete, or may need constant tweaks for a while before something gets settled. Be open to such possibilities, rather than fretting over things going wrong.

Things might go wrong indeed, initially as one tries to apply the position into the real world, and real repercussions are discovered about certain steps. Be open to trial and error, be open to change, and be open to reworking and redrawing plans until something stable is formed. As author Jon Acuff says: ‘momentum is messy’. Creation and change can be messy because they change the existing status quo, and that can be quite a tumultuous process. But that also means that things are moving, which is a great sign in itself.

‘Hybrid’ Roles:

A newly created position is often a mix of two to three other roles, and as a result, concerned with two to three departments or teams at a time. This means a person in this new role may have to correspond with all those departments, along with the team-leaders of those departments.

A mix of multiple roles, and reporting to ‘multiple bosses’ demands a certain level of interpersonal and social skills, dealing with multiple perspectives, along with an ability to integrate all inputs into a coherent system. It helps to draw up clear expectations and a plan to balance the multiple departments.

Newly created positions are created for a reason, and it is important to remain true to that reason, and at the same time accept that one will need to take a growth-oriented, flexible and open-minded approach towards the newly created position. Creation of systems, expectations, objectives and tasks might undergo a change, and that is but a natural result of momentum.

Conversation about Careers, Equality and Respect

Having equal respect for the variety is the key.

As Women’s Day as approaching, familiar conversations about gender and women empowerment would be coming up. While equality remains a common point of conversation while talking about these issues, it is also worth examining what are we genuinely looking for when it comes to equality, and if there are areas where we need to understand if equality is something that is the genuine need, or perhaps something more nuanced.

Respect and Equality:

The way men and women have to take up roles and responsibilities in a family setting, typically is not the same. While conversations about redefining gender roles and having a more ‘equal’ atmosphere abound, the reality is that the genders are different, and how a woman might handle a conflict, raise a child or manage her work will be different than how a man does.

Equality doesn’t simply denote ‘sameness’; it should and denotes equal respect. Perhaps, the need then should be to pay equal respect to approaches that a man and a woman might take to their responsibilities instead of simply saying things like ‘men and women are equal’. Men and women are different, with different ways of approaching personal and professional lives, and it is the differences that need to be equally respected.

The Different Approaches to Career:

Take for example the way a woman’s career trajectory is often looked at. Many times, life-stages like motherhood are considered impediments to her career! Not to mention how men are most of the times denied the importance of paternity leaves. How ‘gendered’ is our notion of a career! Organisations and personnel connected to management might benefit by understanding the difference in approaches to career, specific to the demands the two genders are faced with. An article by Harvard Business Review brings to notice some crucial points to keep in mind when it comes to questions about careers of women:

  • Pausing one’s career to look after domestic demands is not a bad thing. In fact, it is sometimes necessary and even in that pause, development doesn’t stop. Skills from time-management to personnel management are developed through the domestic duties that women often traditionally end up taking.
  • A slow pace is still progress. Say Mrs. A had a child, and in balancing her professional life, and looking after a small child, her career’s pace got slowed down. She remained in one post for around 8-9 years. Does that mean she would have no opportunity ahead? Does that mean she shouldn’t resume at a faster pace when the child has grown up enough? Does a slow pace mean a complete impasse? Of course not. A career can still be fruitful and successful, even with a slow pace. One can take pauses while climbing the ladder.

In other words, the time and intensity with which women can engage with their careers will be different than how a man does. As a result, the approach they take will also be different. That difference in approach, rather than being seen of a lesser value, and as makeshift, should be seen as an approach that is as necessary, valid and respected.

In an age of uncertainty, and of times when both men and women are faced with crises that challenge them to be better versions of themselves, it makes sense that we all act in support of each other, rather than competing unnecessarily. Variation in approaches in problem-solving, whether personal or professional, should be explored with an open mind, and a curiosity, rather than rivalry, animosity or the need to overly simplify ‘equality’. The first step lies in establishing respect for the differences.

Team UHR extends warm wishes for Women’s Day in advance!

A Different Approach to Decision-Making

Decision-making does not have to be daunting and stressful with these different approaches.

When we think about making a decision about something, we almost always think about two roads diverging. A fork in the road. A choice to make.

Metaphors like this can be very daunting and overwhelming. Decision-making as a process can be pressurising by itself. So instead of increasing the pressure with such heavy metaphors, why not think of some lighter metaphors for decision-making?

A Closet Full of Jackets:

As a conversation between authors Ryan Holiday and Tim Ferris brings to our notice in The Daily Stoic podcast, when we think about decisions, when we think about the ‘choosing one of the forks in the road’, we think going back on the ‘other’ road is not possible.

Ferris suggests that instead of the fork, the process of decision-making could be seen as a process of opening a closet and choosing the jacket you wish to put on. If you don’t like the jacket, you can always put it back and choose something else that suits your needs better. No drama, no do-or-die anxiety to deal with.

Decision-making often is actually a matter of trial and error in the process; of choosing the right jacket from the closet.

It’s not a ‘wrong fork’ you chose- it’s actually just a different jacket that’s needed! Say, you decided to change your career, and it didn’t go according to plan and now you decide to go back to your old career. Viewing that decision as the ‘wrong fork’ would make you feel horrible about the change in plans. However, viewing it as the time to go back to wearing your old jacket would enable one to de-escalate the pressure, see it for what it is- an experience to learn from, instead of an experience to be bitter about. Just a jacket to change back to.

There are More than Two Forks on the road:

Some of us would still be sceptical of this approach. What if we don’t wish to go back? Some decisions are indeed irreversible.

In that case, one more approach comes in handy- why see only a two-forked road? Why not think of the forked road like a cutlery fork- having multiple forks, multiple arrows, each leading to a different outcome? Having a sense of more choices, instead of a ‘this or that’ approach would be freeing. There isn’t just a plan B, but also a plan C, D and E.

There are not just two roads diverging- there are perhaps four or five roads, and we have the choice to weigh in our options, and then make a decision.

So, the next time you find yourself at cross-roads and a decision must be made, remind yourself that you are not actually at cross-roads and are instead looking at a process of trial and error. You are looking at a vast closet full of different jackets to try out, and you just need to pick the one that helps you combat the weather. If it doesn’t, you can always go back and change! You are looking at a road with multiple forks, and you have a broad set of potential outcomes to choose from!

Managing With Empathy-Drain: Navigating the various forms of Empathy

Empathy drain is often faced by professionals involved in personnel management and leadership roles. How does one manage that?

People in leadership roles these days are often encouraged to cultivate empathy in their role. Managers, leaders, mentors etc are considered to be doing a good job when employees feel safe to voice their concern, when they feel their voices are being heard and considered.

The younger generation of employees in fact often value empathy in leadership as a major deal-breaker or -maker. A Gallups survey cited by Harvard Business Review found that among a sample of 1000 workers who left their jobs during the Great Resignation, 58% did so because they found their managers lacking empathy.

Empathy is the thing to develop.

But is it a sustainable quality to develop for people at managerial positions?

Empathy Drain:

A survey by Future Forum found that middle managers reported more burnout than any other kind of workers.

Many managers often feel like they may have to do a trade-off: either have empathy, and drain yourself and endanger one’s well-being, or don’t show empathy and leave the employees in the midst of issues.

When one is dealing with people, and your job is to make sure the people make good use of their competence, it is inevitable that the one in charge of it would be drained out. What’s more, being empathetic might also mean one takes on the feelings of others, leading to more burnout- physical as well as psychological. The cost of having empathy, of ‘getting’ what people are going through, is to end up actually getting what people are going through. Even people in caregiving professions such as nursing, training, teaching may experience what is called ‘compassion fatigue’ or ‘empathy burnout’.

Getting what your employees go through might not be a very healthy thing for anyone’s well-being, especially managers and leaders.

But there seems to be a balanced way out of the empathy drain.

Tuning into empathetic concern:

Empathy comes in a variety of forms, as per the article mentioned above. We can differentiate between empathetic concern vs. emotional empathy and mindfully tune our behaviour accordingly. Empathetic concern involves having concern for others and finding solutions based on that concern. Emotional empathy involves taking on emotions of others.

Understanding these forms of empathy could be a key to not feeling drained out due to empathy, and at the same time, not come across as a heartless person.

Say for example, your colleague or employee comes to you about a problem they are facing. Emotional empathy would be to start feeling their problem as your own. This could lead to a possible roadblock because you would be too involved in trying to understand their feelings. You might also end up taking on the work of this employee, and at the end of the day, you would be overworked and drained, and the employee would end up feeling like a burden and possibly with no sense of having overcome the problem.

Showing empathetic concern on the, other hand, would be seeing their problem, and offering support and insights into possible solutions. This would lead to keeping a healthy distance, and helping others step in their power to solve their own problem. The employee is likely to feel empowered, and you would have channelised your sensitivity in the right direction.

Empathetic concern would mean helping the employee get their sense of agency and finding ways to raise them from their misery. Emotional empathy would be getting what the person is going through, and getting so involved in their problem that one forgets to think about a solution.  Of course, sometimes, one can only listen in some situations, and let the experiences integrate themselves. But this tuning out, between having emotional empathy and having empathetic concern is the line between helping someone yourself, and empowering someone to help themselves.