Author: UnitedHR

Is Everyone’s Dream-Job Your Dream Job as Well?

A particular job may be a dream of many, but is it your dream as well? The answer lies in understanding your sense of authenticity.

Shreya had just landed a dream job. At least what was supposed to be a dream job.

It was a high post with a prestigious multinational company. A job that attracted not just prestige and results but even considerable envy. But somehow as she started to work at the company, the initial excitement started to wear off. It’s not that the job hadn’t lived up to its expectations- it had given Shreya everything- her desired income, recognition and incentives. It had given her everything except one thing: the feeling that she was being herself.

As we hold this thought, let us take one more example of someone who landed their (supposed) dream job. Along with Shreya, Sumit joined the same company- the dream of many. But unlike Shreya, Sumit couldn’t get as much recognition for his work. He was well qualified, and he did the best according to his abilities, but somehow, things just didn’t feel aligned for Sumit.

Although the Sumit couldn’t perform well, and on the other hand Shreya did manage to get her due recognition, at the core, they both had the same issue- a prestigious company just didn’t make the job feel good, and one ended up feeling out of place and drained. Going to work every day and doing even the simplest of tasks became a struggle for Shreya and Sumit.

Fast forward to a year and Shreya had started her own company dealing with sustainable fashion. It was a small company, nowhere close to the prestigious multinational she was a part of earlier, but everyday Shreya looked forward to going to work. The awards she got for entrepreneurship felt meaningful to her. She found the challenging work of finding investors and increasing the reach of her new company mentally stimulating, and despite the hard work, she rarely felt drained.

Let us fast forward to Sumit and he had become the general manager at a small company. He had quit the multinational company and started a new job at this smaller company. From the start, unlike the multinational company, Sumit felt at ease, and found the work challenging in a good way. The company wasn’t too well-known when Sumit joined, but as Sumit found his path in the company, that started to change. Over time, the company became one of the most well-known companies in the field: the company and Sumit both had grown with and through each other. 

In both the examples above, is a golden lesson in authenticity. Rather than simply aiming for prestige and jobs that look great on paper, one can aim for a job that fits their own sense of authenticity. Prestige and recognition will follow as wonderful ‘side-effects.’

Shreya as a person was someone who believed in sustainability, loved fashion and loved challenges, and hence starting her own company didn’t feel like a big draining challenge as compared to the prestigious job at the big multinational even though on paper, objectively speaking, it was supposed to be the other way around. Sumit gained fame and fortune out of a supposed smaller company, and helped the company rise as well. Turns out, what is ‘on paper’ can change!

One may land a job that is a dream to many; one may even find great or some success in it. But is the job your dream? Is the success meaningful to you? These are the questions that matter in the long run. Perhaps the adage ‘work at the job you love and you won’t have to work a day’ finds a renewed meaning this way.

Qualities that Make you the “Real Winner” in Life

Awards and certificates have their place. But ultimately it is the process, the attitude, the willingness to learn and grow that determine what you ‘win’.

A wonderful art exhibition was going on, and Sudeshna was on cloud nine. After all, her painting had been put on display and hundreds of people had visited the art gallery so far. There were other paintings by other artists getting displayed as well.

Surabhi, a friend of Sudeshna was one of the visitors. They both greeted each other, but Sudeshna noticed that Surabhi had a somewhat troubled expression on her face. ‘Is everything all right, Surabhi?’

‘Sudeshna, I was walking up here, and outside I saw a list of names. They had all won various prizes for their pieces. Some even really big rewards. Your name was not there. I think you deserved a prize for this.’

‘Oh! Of course, that list! I know what you are talking about. I know some people on the list; some of my good friends and really talented people. I am happy for them.’

Surabhi was touched by Sudeshna’s ability to be happy for others but she was also a bit angry now. She asked, ‘But Sudeshna, don’t you feel even a little sad about not making the list?’ Surabhi wanted to ask her if it didn’t feel like a waste of effort that she didn’t win anything, but held back since she didn’t want to sound too harsh. But her expression, even if held only for a second before she put up a smile, was read by Sudeshna.

‘Oh, you think the painting here has been put up, but to no avail? That it’s all a wasted effort if there has been no prize? Childish consolation prize kind of thing?’

Surabhi couldn’t say anything but Sudeshna knew she had read Surabhi’s mind.

Sudeshna explained ‘See, I get your empathy, and I am grateful to have a friend who wants me to excel to the best of my abilities. But my primary goal in putting effort in this painting was to become the person that painting something like this would compel me to be. I feel like a changed person, and I think that’s a big enough win for me. For now.’

Surabhi looked a bit puzzled, so Sudeshna continued, ‘There are lots of people in the list who won by sheer good luck, no denying that. Some are genuinely talented. I wish them all well. I also wish that the winners have got a boost to keep developing their skills and upgrading their goals. I hope they don’t simply rest on their laurels. I see that a lot of the winners seem to have remained the same persons.

‘Their attitude before and after finishing their paintings remains the same. I on the other hand feel like a different person- I understood my capacity to work hard, I know what needs to be improved, I feel grateful and at peace that even when I didn’t technically ‘win’ I have so many people visiting me and congratulating, complimenting on my painting. Not having a name on the list is one minor negative to an otherwise very positive result.’

Surabhi was left an awe of Sudeshna’s attitude. Just then a major artist of the city, who Sudeshna had invited specially for the event, walked over to Sudeshna’s painting and started what looked like a fruitful discussion. This was a ‘win’.

What lessons do we have from Sudeshna’s ‘win’?

Attitude matters:

There is always a silver lining in everything. The bigger goal, the larger perspective is what matters. Winning prizes, awards and certificates is a good thing. But the larger goal should be to cultivate that attitude, that set of traits, skills, competence and enjoyment in the process that help you grow and move forward. Prizes, awards, and certificates will work short-term, but in the long run it’s the process of it all, the attitude and willingness to grow and adapt that matter.

Meaningful networking:

It takes only one influential person to notice your work and capability for your life to change. Endless networking with hundreds of people and hoping something fruitful to come out of it is leaving things to chance. But networking mindfully and meaningfully is taking control in your own hands. Both approaches have their place, and it is up to us which one we wish to take.

And finally, show up and start, the rest will fall into place. Sudeshna didn’t win the prize, and her name was not on the list of winners. However, she was still expected to be at the exhibition. She could have sulked and skipped it all, wondering what’s the point if she didn’t ‘win’. But she anyway decided to show up, be cheerful about it, and stand by her own sense of achievement. That confidence, that sense of self-assuredness, the sense that one knows where one stands, and one is willing to grow and learn shows. It all shows in one’s conduct and attitude. And that’s a big win.

Yoga Day Special: Understanding Our Worries

This Yoga Day, let us expand our understanding of ourselves, including what worries us, and how we can manage those worries.

yoga day image, guy meditating in worry to show ways to do focused yoga

Two friends, Anita and Esha were having a conversation over coffee. Anita looked worried. When asked what was wrong, she said what many of us must have felt at one point. Some of us may also be feeling this way as we read this.

‘Everything worries me. Every decision I make, I overanalyse. I worry about everything. It’s as if the overthinking will never ever stop. I feel anxious all the time, and I haven’t been able to get anything done on time. It’s really affecting me.’

Esha listened, and gently comforted Anita, saying, ‘We all are consumed by the overthinking monster every once in a while. It’s okay, you can manage this. Trust me.’

‘How? I have tried relaxation techniques. It helps a bit, but only temporarily. Yoga usually helps me but these days, even that is not helping.’

Esha went in further and said, ‘How about you try this yoga to control the mind, and manage? Yoga won’t help much unless you know what you wish to manage through the Yoga practice. Whenever you find yourself on one of your overthinking sprees, see which one type seems to be bothering you:

Anita listened with curiosity and nodded. Esha continued:

‘If you constantly find yourself ruminating over past decisions, past mistakes and bad feedback, you are most likely a past analyser.

‘If you constantly find yourself worrying about the future, and anticipating problems which don’t really exist at present, you are most likely a future analyser.

‘If you constantly find yourself over analysing any decision, and find yourself unable to actually make a decision, getting in a state of analysis paralysis, you are most likely an over-analyser. ‘

Anita seemed to have found her problem as a gleam of recognition came into her eyes. ‘What to do when I find myself into one of these states?’

Esha went on,

‘For the past analyser, scheduling a ‘worry time’ during the day might help, where one sits with these feelings of worry, and find out which of these worries can be solved, and which can be left in the past. The ones which can be solved can be dealt in a head on way.

‘For the future analyser, visualisation exercises might help, where you imagine yourself overcoming these anticipated hurdles. This small perspective shift can help a lot.

‘For the over analyser, understand that perfection is a myth, and that mistakes are part and parcel of life. Any path we take, we can always course correct. There is no need to analyse each and every detail- trust that you can figure things out as they come.’

As Anita listened to this, she felt her anxiety ease up a little. The knots in her mind slowly started to loosen up.

We all must have been in Anita’s state of mind. Overthinking.

Wondering why our relaxation techniques, and a disciplined practice of yoga isn’t helping.

Wondering when will this overthinking monster leave us.

The key to make the best use of our abilities is to understand what kind of worries consume us, and our minds, and finding ways to manage those. Yoga isn’t just about asanas and postures- it is an active practice of understanding ourselves, and finding the best possible way to make the best use of that understanding of ourselves. Yoga encapsulates practices of introspection, and practices to make that introspection meaningful, such as meditation, visualisations, and countless such centring practices.

This Yoga day, let us remind ourselves that we have an incredible ability to manage our minds. Yoga when done with a sense of purpose, and with the right focus and with the right technique, can help us become calmer and more centred individuals. In turn, we can become individuals who are in tune with our inner and the outer world, leading to professional and personal success, peace and prosperity. What’s more, now we can Overcome the Overthinking Monster.

You Need to Take Break even from the Work you Love

image about low battery

Have you ever had a very frustrating day where whatever you tried just never gave results?

Well, Sunny was having one such day.

He looked tired and frustrated as he was working on a coding project. Raj noticed it, and asked if everything was alright.

‘Oh no. I have been stuck on this since hours. Coding is supposed to be my passion. How would it all work if I cannot work on my passion endlessly. Turning your passion into a profession is supposed to be easy, isn’t it?

‘No, my friend.’ Raj began to explain:

‘Somehow the popular culture makes us believe that if we choose a profession we love, that is, something we have a passion for, we would enjoy it so much that we would feel we need not work a day in our lives. That is a wrong belief. No matter how much we love what we do, there will be times when we need a break, when our job will put some pressure on us. We will feel tired while working on it. We shouldn’t feel guilty about it. It is natural to feel overwhelmed and pressured with our work at times. You can choose to either let it push you forward or backward.’

There was some relief but also some guilt in Sunny’s eyes. ‘I did indeed feel overwhelmed. Been feeling so since a couple of days. So much so that I took a little smoke after years yesterday…’

‘Oh my, don’t do this to yourself!’ Raj exclaimed. He went onto explain again,

‘Don’t you remember how it used to be when we were children? Even with the games we loved to play, we would sometimes win, and sometimes lose. Sometimes we would be out of form. It is completely normal to not be our hundred percent from time to time. Don’t let the fixation to be perfect consume you and don’t take up unhealthy habits to reach an unrealistic goal.’

Finally, it all made sense to Sunny, and he said to Raj, ‘You are right. I have been too fixated on this problem, and I am letting it consume me. I think I should step back, and take a break. I will start working on this tomorrow again, anew. Care to join me for a walk to the riverfront today evening?‘

‘Of course!’ And the two friends wrapped up their work for the day and left to go for a walk in the cool evening breeze.

The anecdote above gives us some crucial lessons. Let us have a quick look at these:

  • No matter how much you love your work and your field, there will be times when you will feel tired and overwhelmed from it. You might even dislike your choice of career for those few moments or even hours! The popular saying that do what you love and you won’t have to work a day in your life is not always true.
  • That being said, one shouldn’t have extreme responses to this. Getting frustrated at a job you love doesn’t mean you should quit it, or resort to unhealthy habits or think that you made a mistake in choosing your career. Remember that the pressure, the frustration, the overwhelm are all temporary and more or less fleeting. Usually, each one of us goes through phases of easily doable assignments as well as the trickier ones.

This finally leads to the last point to keep in mind.

  • Just as a symphony of music has high and low notes, similarly, the work we do, our professional targets and aims, our working also goes through high and low notes, and all other notes in between. As the anecdote suggests, sometimes, we are in great form, and sometimes, it takes time to get on track. That doesn’t mean we are worthless entirely. Or that our love for our work is gone. Or that we will never be able to do great work again. We must remember that it is the variety of notes that makes a piece of music worth listening to- otherwise it would all be unpleasantly stuck on one note.

Understand the music that the work we love doing is, and we would be able to learn more, do better work, and have a great time working!

The Eternal Wisdom of Focusing on the Journey

Having a goal helps, but contrary to contemporary understanding, focusing simply and singularly on the goal is likely to slow down its achievement.

Let us begin with a little story…

Once there was a man determined to find the secrets of attaining the Zen state in life. He found a Zen master in his village. He approached him, and asked:

‘Wise man, how can I find Zen in life?’

‘Work on it for ten years, and you shall find what you are looking for.’

The man asked him, ‘What if I fix my focus on my goal twice as hard?’

The wise man replied, ‘Then you shall find it in twenty years.’

Puzzled but determined to understand the man asked again, ‘And what if I fix my focus only on the goal and nothing else?’

The wise man replied, ‘You shall find it in thirty years. Your one eye will be on the goal, and one eye will be on the path. Having only one eye on the path will slow you down, naturally. There is a difference between fixating on the goal and working on it. ’

As the Zen master looked at the puzzled expression on the man’s face, he explained:

‘Imagine you are climbing on a tree, to reach at the top for a fruit there. If you focus just on the fruit, you will miss out on the various branches protruding out of the tree, and might end up falling, injuring yourself and wasting time in having to wait and start at the bottom of the tree once again.

But if you focus on the activity, the journey of climbing the tree, feeling the bark of the tree on your hands, finding the most useful branch, finding an efficient way to climb the tree, you will reach the top of the tree even before you realise it. Focus on the journey, and you will not only learn a lot more along the way, you will also reach your destination much earlier than simply focusing on the destination.’

The expression of puzzlement on the man’s face turned into a calm yet determined smile.

In contemporary work culture, the focus is often on a goal: becoming the ‘boss’, getting in some list of the most successful people in the world, getting an award and so on. There are countless other examples where we are told to singularly focus on the goal, and nothing else. And when we reach that end goal after years, we feel empty after the initial celebrations. What now, we wonder?

Having a goal is necessary; it gives us a sense of direction. However, once we have decided on the goal, it makes sense to shift our focus on the journey towards that goal. To make the best out of our journey, we can ask ourselves questions such as:

  • What are the skills I need to learn along the way to reach my goal as efficiently as possible?
  • Who are the people that I have met along the way who can teach me, provide valuable lessons, that is, who are the people who can provide me mentorship?
  • Are there any possible roadblocks that I can see, as I climb the (career) ladder? What can be done to overcome those roadblocks smoothly?
  • Is there a need to course correct, and find a more efficient way towards my goal?

And so on.

Said in a slightly different way, it is not a coincidence that the Bhagvad Gita also tells us to focus on our ‘karma’ or actions, that is, what we are expected to do on our journey, rather than focusing simply on the ‘fal’, the fruit. It goes: ‘karma kiye ja, fal ki chinta matt kar…’, that is, keep performing the actions, without worrying about the fruit.

Focusing on our journey, and undertaking actions that will enable us to learn from that journey is eternal wisdom. Focusing on our journey means we enjoy the beauty of travelling through it all, rather than worrying or hurrying to reach a destination.

Focusing on the journey allows us to perceive and observe our path; it lets us widen our horizons. Focusing on the goal singularly, fixating on the end result limits us. It narrows our vision and make us blind to possibilities and opportunities.