Diya had been working at a designing firm for a couple of years now. While she had many years ahead of her to go still, she had been experienced enough to be considered as a mentor to the younger joinees. She was the perfect go-to person for them, when they felt intimidated by the older colleagues and out of synch with colleagues who were younger than them but had joined earlier. She was a great person to have on the team.
Diya was also a diligent employee in many ways: she always came to the office on time, had excellent skills required to do the job and had great work ethic.
But for Diya, these did not feel like great contributions. She felt she didn’t add much to the office, and felt herself replaceable. She thought anyone would be able to just work hard and fill her shoes. She felt she didn’t add anything to her company in general.
With these gloomy thoughts, she was sitting with a gloomy face in the lunchroom one day. That day, through a happy coincidence, her senior Swati walked in and saw a sad looking Diya. As she sat down with her and asked what the reason was for her dull mood, Diya told Swati bit by bit about feeling she doesn’t contribute much to the company in general.
When asked the reason for feeling this way, Diya said,
‘I have seen other colleagues take ideas to the boss. Every week someone walks into boss’s cabin and gives them ideas. I only give ideas when a client gives us the brief. Every week, I see juniors brainstorming something together and I admire them but also wonder why I couldn’t come up with that. Every week I look at a senior and see their portfolio, and I wonder if I will ever reach where they are…I am just so boring and replaceable.’
While Swati understood Diya’s frustration and her tendency to compare, she was also astounded by how Diya was underestimating her own self this way. Swati then told her something, which helped Diya and can very well help us as well. Because, let’s face it, whatever profession we are in, we may have felt like Diya many times.
So, what did Swati tell Diya? The advice, by the way, is a real advice by writer Shane Parrish: In focusing in on all the ways you want to grow and contribute, do not lose focus on things you are actually contributing and doing well.
It’s good to be self-aware and find opportunities to grow and learn. It’s good to try to understand where we are lacking, so we may focus on how to grow in that aspect. But in that process, we shouldn’t forget:
- Expectations Vs Reality:
Our expectations are so fixed at times, like Diya, that we forget the ways in which we are contributing in reality. Diya wanted to bring more ideas to the table, she wanted to make an impressive portfolio for herself. But she forgot to look at the way she was already contributing, such as being a hard worker, a dependable person willing to spend time to understand the client’s requirements properly, a great team-player, a wonderful person to act as a bridge between the different age-groups in her office and so on. This brings us to the next point.
- Blind to our Own Strengths:
We may also be blind to our own strengths and contributions because of our expectations from ourselves. We often contribute in other ways which we may not necessarily be aware about. We may want to learn how to network better but we may already be a great person to handle logistics. We may want to learn one skill better, but there might be other skills we are great at but since we don’t ‘want’ those, so we are blind to those. How unfair to ourselves!
While focusing on a way to fill the lack, we shouldn’t lose sight of the abundance we bring in other ways. It’s good to expect highly from yourself, but sometimes the reality of how you are is in itself great too!