Tag: Leadership

The Courage to do it Scared

Sometimes, we must go after our goals even when we are scared.

image to represent new year resolutions and planning to implement them, going after your goals even when scared

Weeks into the new year, Deepa felt miserable because she was not able to implement all the big and small New Year resolutions she had made.

Noticing her gloom, the people around her had tried to reassure her:

“It’s okay, it has only been a few weeks, you still have the time to implement your plans.”

“It’s okay, maybe you can start your plans during the Spring season, the actual new year in nature!”

“It’s okay, you can only begin with the small resolutions and then move on to the bigger ones.”

“Yes, take it slow, one day at a time, one resolution at a time…”

Slow, she had taken it, and she had the necessary planning, all done. The only thing to be done was the implementation, and yet something was stopping her.

Varsha, a wise old friend who was also like a mentor had been noticing Deepa’s dejection at her own inability to implement things. Varsha and Deepa lived in the same building, and would often carpool together- their offices were quite nearby and they would often spend their lunch-time together whenever possible.

During one such lunches, they both got into a conversation around Deepa’s new year resolutions. From wanting to eat healthier, to starting her own Youtube channel, Deepa had everything planned out. The planning and the resolutions themselves were quite realistic, so there was really nothing that could prevent Deepa. And as had been mentioned earlier, something was stopping her.

‘I don’t know what is happening Varsha ji. I wake up everyday and look at my post-it notes, my step-by-step planning. But I get scared.’

‘Scared of what dear Deepa?’ Varsha inquired with a gentle expression. She indeed had much love, like an older sister, for Deepa.

‘I am scared of so many big and small things. I am scared, for example, my Youtube channel will not work. Or it might work too well and I will be overwhelmed by it all. I am scared that my resolution to wake up early and get into fitness will result in detection of some new health problem that might prevent me from fulfilling my resolution. And for some resolutions, I am just plain scared that I might fail. Every day I wake up with the hope that today these fears will go away and I will be able to start implementing my resolutions. But the fears don’t seem to be going away.’

‘That’s a lot to be scared of!’ Varsha let out a small chuckle but quickly her expression changed into something Deepa was sort of familiar with; the ‘boss-lady’ expression who got things done and who helped get her employees to new heights. With a firm, resolute expression but with ever more warmth, Varsha said,

‘Deepa, the fears may never go away. You may never stop getting scared. Sometimes, even I get scared. I have my fears too.’

‘Really? Then what do you do when you get scared? How do you make the fear go away?’

Varsha took a deep breath and continued, ‘The fears never go away. Or they go away for some moments and then they come back. They key is to go ahead despite the fears.’

Deepa thought about it for a bit and asked, ‘But what if it’s my instinct that’s preventing something bad happening? A woman’s gut feeling is said to be very strong…’

‘Agreed. But gut feeling will not leave you questioning and anxious; gut feeling doesn’t paralyze you- it leaves you feeling stronger and firmer with your decision to do or not do something. Fear on the other hand leaves you feeling miserable; you feel like a failure and you begin questioning your own capabilities. You seem to be in fear, don’t you think?’

Deepa nodded.

Varsha continued, ‘Yes. Fears are going to be there. Yet you must get up and chase your dreams, big or small. You must not, cannot, wait for fears to subside. I still do some things where my heart beats faster than usual, where I get worried about what lies next, where all sorts of possibilities form in my head. And yet, I go for it. I have planned things. I have prepared. I have done what is expected of me to do- my ‘karma’. Ideally, I shouldn’t be scared but if I am, then so be it. I do what I want and need to do, even if I am scared.’

And with this, Deepa found new courage to go ahead and start with ticking off one new year resolution at a time, with her impeccable planning. For some of those, she was scared. But she went ahead, anyway, scared.

Team UHR wishes everyone a very happy new year. May the year bless us with courage to implement our plans, and face our fears with the courage to go for what we want, even if it is scary. There is courage in doing it scared.

Learning from the Navdurgas

As the festive season sets in, there are ways to enrich ourselves by understanding the Navdurgas.

image for article about learning from navratri

As Navratri sets in, we begin with the festive stretch of the year.

Whether you are here for the devotion, the culture, or just the festivities, there is something for everyone.

Festivals are not just here for our enjoyment, but also our enrichment. They teach us important life-skills, approaches and enable us to live a fulfilling life.

So, without further ado, let us dive into how we can wield the festive spirit to the best of our advantage!

Understanding Differences in Approaches: Navratri has nine forms of the goddess (the ‘devi’), the ‘Navdurgas’ and each form represents not only a quality but an approach to life and the world. Every form is equally valid and no approach, no quality is of less importance. They are ultimately part of the universal shakti, the energy that runs the world according to the mythology.

Shailaputri represents stability, Brahmacharini represents ascetism, Chandraghanta beauty and peace, Kushmanda creation, Skandmata protection and motherhood, Katyayani courage and strength against evil, Kalaratri destruction of fears, Maha Gauri radiance and enlightenment, Siddhidhatri accomplishments and fulfilment.

Different situations require us to channelise the different approaches. Some days we need patience to approach a task. Some days, anger helps to get things done. Some days we need wisdom with our decisions and some days fearlessness. Some days we need to lead and nurture, and on other days, we need to be still.

Thinking about a task with the question of ‘how do I need to approach this particular situation?’ enables us to develop flexibility and context-specific decision-making.

Understanding your Own Strengths: Closely related to understanding how each goddess-form represents an approach to life, is an understanding of each one’s strength.

Each one of has a strength, a characteristic quality that we can wield like no one else.

The goddess-forms too have their own defining characteristics. The grounded nature and stability of Shailaputri is unparalleled. The anger of Kalaratri and the warrior-spirit of Katyayani are literal forces of nature. Maha Gauri’s calm energises us in an altogether different way. Do we try to find the energy of peace when we are looking for the intensity, or vice versa? No, right?

Similarly, each one of us has a strength that almost works as a gift for us. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, why not find out our strengths and channelise them to our advantage? One might be an excellent organiser, while someone else might be an excellent communicator. Another might be an excellent multitasker, while one might excel in deep focused work. Finding our strengths is the key to understanding how we can contribute to our own development as well as development of those around us, whether our loved ones, or the company we work for.

The goddess-forms ultimately are a part of the cosmic ‘shakti’, the energy. They are not really separate from each other- the approach takes the centre-stage based on what the situation requires. Similarly, we have everything within us- calm, strength, anger, agency, wisdom. It is tapping into what works for us the best that enables us to run things. Whether it is running the universe, a company or a team!

Do you Matter at your Workplace?

Feeling like one matters at work can help in stress-reduction, employee-retention and opportunities for growth.

Priyam has been working at his company for two years now. He is in-charge of the sanitation and cleanliness management staff at his office. Although he works in a corporate office, his is not your typical high-profile corporate job one would associate with power and prestige. The income is decent- not too high as compared to certain jobs. But he is happy at his job, and he likes going to work.

Prita has been working at a different company for two years now. She is in-charge of the marketing department at the company. A high-profile, high-power, high-earning job. Since she is in-charge, she often gets to delegate work, which also reduces her stress- and work- load by quite a lot. But she is not happy at her job, and she does not like going to work.

What is it that makes a difference to these two employees? Objectively, on paper, Prita should be the happier person. After all, she earns more, is on a more prestigious position conventionally speaking, and definitely is supposed to have more clout at the workplace. But why is it that the opposite is the case?

The answer is simple but profound- Priyam feels like he matters at work. Prita doesn’t feel like she matters at work.

Priyam’s company makes him feel that he matters at work. His job is not that high-stakes and high-profile- hid company won’t lose millions if she falters. But he nevertheless matters, and is made to feel that he matters. His boss Shweta routinely appreciates his work. She thanks him for the work he does at the company. He and his work are treated with respect. He gets opportunities- in fact, Priyam started out as a simple cleaning staff member, and eventually, rose to become the head of that department. His work might not be conventionally ‘high-profile’ but everyone in the company understands and respects the effort that goes behind keeping the office space clean, organised. Right from the handwashes in the bathroom, to the plates and cutlery in the kitchen, everything is in perfect order thanks to Pushpam and his team.

And everyone, especially Shweta understands this value that Priyam generates. More importantly, Shweta communicates this to Priyam. Priyam and his work matter. Priyam feels this way, and that makes him happy at his job.

Prita on the other hand feels like she doesn’t matter at her job. Her boss Anil, although appreciates Prita’s work and her team-management skills, he doesn’t communicate that. No matter how much of a success a project by Prita garners, she almost never gets a ‘good job’. It has been long since Prita has received any acknowledgement to her contributions to the company. A certificate perhaps, a token of appreciation, but that is it. Regular words and regular actions do not make Prita feel like she matters at work or what she does is appreciated. Since Anil is uncommunicative, Prita’s other colleagues reflect the same mindset- if the boss herself doesn’t say anything nice, they also don’t feel the need to appreciate Prita.

Prita wonders if she is doing something wrong, and if the certificates and tokens are just formalities. Her confidence levels have come down over the years at the company, despite being the head of a department herself. Prita feels this way, and that makes her unhappy at her job.

It is a simple matter of feeling like one matters at work.

As people working among a collective of professionals, whether we are employers, or colleagues, according to research by Psychology Today, making our employees or fellow co-workers feel mattered at work can contribute to their general well-being, job satisfaction, and lower chances of burnout, stress and anxiety. It can lead to one being happier in leadership positions. Moreover, it can also lead to higher employee retention.

So, what can we do to make our employees and/or co-workers feel like they matter at work? Simple things, such as:

  • Thanking people for their work. Acknowledge their efforts. Not just through tokens and certificates, but say it through your words and actions. Even simple recognition can go a long way.
  • Let people know you have belief in their capabilities. If you are at a mentorship position, you can also provide them opportunities to grow so that they realise that you genuinely care about them, and haven’t just hired them for convenience.
  • When you observe something remarkable about people, don’t simply keep it to yourself- make it known that you see what they are doing. If you are the boss, this acknowledgement will hold even more weight.
  • If you aren’t the boss, you can still tell someone how you appreciate their work, and if you have opportunity, you can bring it up in front of everyone, or at least communicate that to your boss.

At the core lies the fact that people who do the hard work should know that you see them.

Psychology and age-old wisdom say that, often the key to living a fulfilled life is not happiness. It is meaning. And the first step to finding meaning at work, is to feel that what we do matters. That what we do is a meaningful contribution to the fabric of our profession. When we find this meaning by feeling like the work we do matter, happiness soon enough, follows.

Retelling the Stories of Disappointment

Disappointments are a part of life. We can retell the ‘stories’ of disappointment we tell ourselves to grow and move forward through them.

image depicting ways to retell stories of disappointment
  • Ankita had a look of utter disappointment on her face. Her proposal about a project had been rejected. She had worked hard for it, and although she did realise the few gaps in her work, she felt it was still good enough to be considered, with some minor tweaks.
  • Anu had been giving interviews the entire week and none of the companies she interviewed for had called back. She was starting to think if she even had the bare minimum qualifications, given the lack of positive response to her interview.
  • Adit had just been sidelined for a position, in the final round of his interview. Till the very last stage, he had been ahead but the last task gave the other candidate a major edge, which ultimately was their gain and Adit’s loss.

Do these scenarios evoke a stressful negative memory in you? We all must have faced disappointments like these or worse. A project we worked hard on didn’t turn out the way we wanted it to be. Expectations crashed. Or an interview we thought we had aced only to realise we missed out on the job by an inch. Or a professional networking relationship we had invested in, hoping the client will accept the pitch we provide utlimately, only to realise the client chose a different pitch.

Disappointments are a part of life. Professional and personal. How someone else- a person, a panel or a committee responds to our ideas, or how our ideas land in a situation is beyond our control.

What is in our control though is the story we tell ourselves. And how we use that story to progress and improve ourselves. In our earlier articles, we have talked about the power of storytelling in pitching, networking and ideating.

We can harness the power of a different kind of ‘storytelling’ in how we look at our disappointments as well, because at the end of the day, we are all telling ourselves stories about what we do.

Ankita told herself the story that her project proposal got rejected, the one which she worked so hard for, and that which she thought was enough to get accepted.

  • She can retell the story in a different way: Although her project proposal was rejected, she has this draft of the proposal ready the next time she is asked to pitch in her ideas. All she will need to do is fill in the gaps which she has spotted already. And suddenly, she feels motivated and ready with something for the next time. She moves forward through this disappointment.

Anu told herself the story that none of the companies she interviewed for have called her back yet.

  • She can retell the story in a different way: Although she hasn’t heard from any of the companies she had interviewed for as yet, she has gained so much experience in giving interviews this past week, and has her name in the databases of all these companies, and any day she may be contacted, if not right in the near future as the first preference, then as a silver medal candidate. This retelling helps her release some negativity from her mind, and also gain some confidence in her skills, which might help her to crack the next interview, who knows.

Adit told himself the story that he just lost out on the position in the last round, and another candidate edged past him.

  • He can retell the story in a different way: Although he lost out on the job, he has developed a possible network of seniors and colleagues who have actually seen him progress through the rounds of the interview, the rounds where right until the end he had been the top performer. They have seen his strengths and weaknesses. He can actually approach one of them as possible mentors perhaps. Or the visibility he gained through the rounds of the interview itself opens doors to many possibilities. Possibilities of networking, future opportunities and mentorship. Again, he moves forward through this mindset, whether it’s seeking mentorship to improve upon himself, or finding opportunities elsewhere.

Note that in any of these examples, there is no reality denied. At the same time a sense of possibility is not denied as well. It is not toxic positivity- it is looking at things as they are from a different frame of mind. It is a story that helps one move past the disappointment. It is a story that helps one to move forward.

Disappointments are a part of life, but how we frame those disappointments in our minds decides the long-term outcomes of these disappointments. Disappointments can remain stories of disappointment. Or we can retell these stories and find ways to make the best of them. We can grow and move forward through them.

Trust and Leadership

Diya had recently been promoted. It was a major milestone for her- she had been entrusted with a leadership role, and it was a dream come true for her.

But as the reality set in, and the days when she would be given the charge of her new role came closer, she began to get the jitters. Or more specifically, she began to get flashbacks about the leaders she had worked under.

She remembered the manager she worked under during her very first job. At the first glance, the manager seemed like an ideal. The supervision was minimal, interference zero, and he was contrary to the micro-manager horror stories she had heard from her senior friends. Diya was given total autonomy, and she felt it was the ideal. But soon, Kenny started to feel the autonomy was a little too much. She wished her manager would give her some direction. She liked that the manager let her fly on her own, but she wished she had some sense of direction about where to fly. Often the manager would disappear for days, and she didn’t know who to ask, even what to ask in case of doubts.

She also remembered another manager she worked under during her later years. This was a manager who made sure she knew exactly what Diya was doing at all times during the assignment. A textbook helicopter boss, with this manager Diya felt constrained. The manager wanted things to be followed to the T. Exactly as was instructed. Nothing more, nothing less, nothing new. It was rigidity disguised as meticulousness.

Diya did not want to be either of these bosses. She called up her mother- after all, her mother was the best manager she knew.

Rightly so, her mother gave her the much-needed reality check. She said,

‘Diya, in all my years of managing, whether it is you kids, or people, or anyone or anything in general, one thing I have learned is this: you have to treat your team members like human beings who know what they are doing, in turn your team members are going to see you as someone who knows what she is doing. It is a simple but profound truth.

When you think people know what they are doing, you simply tell them what needs to be done, very clearly. You check on them from time to time, trusting that they will be doing the work responsibly. You don’t have to supervise them constantly.

When people see you as someone who knows what she is doing, they will expect you to point out to the mistakes they might be making, or tell them when an approach needs some tweaking.

A simple give and take of understanding. Keep this in mind, and you will be a great manager.’

After much deliberation, Diya understood the balance:  

  • Define the expectations clearly, meticulously, but let her team members figure out the implementation.
  • Define the shared goal clearly.
  • Give the team members autonomy, but supervise the autonomy.
  • Tell the team members that she is here for guidance, keep the communication lines open to solve doubts.
  • Tell the team members who to communicate with in case of her absence.
  • Realise that mapping out a plan doesn’t necessarily mean it will be implemented exactly in that manner: the map is not the territory.

The bottom line was once that trust was established between the team leader and the team members, that both parties knew what they were doing, a fine balance could be established between expectations and implementation. A trust in each other’s competence, a willingness to listen and learn and a common shared goal are the alphabets around which the language of team leadership and team work is built upon.