Retelling the Stories of Disappointment

Disappointments are a part of life. We can retell the ‘stories’ of disappointment we tell ourselves to grow and move forward through them.

image depicting ways to retell stories of disappointment
  • Ankita had a look of utter disappointment on her face. Her proposal about a project had been rejected. She had worked hard for it, and although she did realise the few gaps in her work, she felt it was still good enough to be considered, with some minor tweaks.
  • Anu had been giving interviews the entire week and none of the companies she interviewed for had called back. She was starting to think if she even had the bare minimum qualifications, given the lack of positive response to her interview.
  • Adit had just been sidelined for a position, in the final round of his interview. Till the very last stage, he had been ahead but the last task gave the other candidate a major edge, which ultimately was their gain and Adit’s loss.

Do these scenarios evoke a stressful negative memory in you? We all must have faced disappointments like these or worse. A project we worked hard on didn’t turn out the way we wanted it to be. Expectations crashed. Or an interview we thought we had aced only to realise we missed out on the job by an inch. Or a professional networking relationship we had invested in, hoping the client will accept the pitch we provide utlimately, only to realise the client chose a different pitch.

Disappointments are a part of life. Professional and personal. How someone else- a person, a panel or a committee responds to our ideas, or how our ideas land in a situation is beyond our control.

What is in our control though is the story we tell ourselves. And how we use that story to progress and improve ourselves. In our earlier articles, we have talked about the power of storytelling in pitching, networking and ideating.

We can harness the power of a different kind of ‘storytelling’ in how we look at our disappointments as well, because at the end of the day, we are all telling ourselves stories about what we do.

Ankita told herself the story that her project proposal got rejected, the one which she worked so hard for, and that which she thought was enough to get accepted.

  • She can retell the story in a different way: Although her project proposal was rejected, she has this draft of the proposal ready the next time she is asked to pitch in her ideas. All she will need to do is fill in the gaps which she has spotted already. And suddenly, she feels motivated and ready with something for the next time. She moves forward through this disappointment.

Anu told herself the story that none of the companies she interviewed for have called her back yet.

  • She can retell the story in a different way: Although she hasn’t heard from any of the companies she had interviewed for as yet, she has gained so much experience in giving interviews this past week, and has her name in the databases of all these companies, and any day she may be contacted, if not right in the near future as the first preference, then as a silver medal candidate. This retelling helps her release some negativity from her mind, and also gain some confidence in her skills, which might help her to crack the next interview, who knows.

Adit told himself the story that he just lost out on the position in the last round, and another candidate edged past him.

  • He can retell the story in a different way: Although he lost out on the job, he has developed a possible network of seniors and colleagues who have actually seen him progress through the rounds of the interview, the rounds where right until the end he had been the top performer. They have seen his strengths and weaknesses. He can actually approach one of them as possible mentors perhaps. Or the visibility he gained through the rounds of the interview itself opens doors to many possibilities. Possibilities of networking, future opportunities and mentorship. Again, he moves forward through this mindset, whether it’s seeking mentorship to improve upon himself, or finding opportunities elsewhere.

Note that in any of these examples, there is no reality denied. At the same time a sense of possibility is not denied as well. It is not toxic positivity- it is looking at things as they are from a different frame of mind. It is a story that helps one move past the disappointment. It is a story that helps one to move forward.

Disappointments are a part of life, but how we frame those disappointments in our minds decides the long-term outcomes of these disappointments. Disappointments can remain stories of disappointment. Or we can retell these stories and find ways to make the best of them. We can grow and move forward through them.

Build Your Brand the Storytelling Way

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Many of us would remember huddling in groups as someone would tell fascinating fables about clever crows, overconfident rabbits, conniving monkeys.

Folk-tales, myths about Gods, ghost-stories are embedded in our cultural memories.

Some would also remember the stories (smart solutions actually) about Akbar and Birbal, Krishnadev  Rai and Tenali Rama.

We learn by listening to stories. Storytelling is a great way to grab attention and engage: we are hardwired to listen this way.

Unfortunately,  fiction, imagination, even lying are associated with storytelling, not facts, information, statistics.

Without realising we utilize the art of storytelling in a more or less degree in various ways.

Yes, yes, even in professional settings!

Storytelling is essentially an act of narrating. We are all narrators. We look back at past events (even something that unfolded five minutes ago), and tell what happened, pretty much as if we are telling a story.

Imagine you are in a meeting. You think a strategy might work. But how do you substantiate? “Facts” and statistics could be incomplete. You remember reading about how this one company did which was something similar to your idea. So you tell that company’s story to support your claims.

Aristotle, the Greek philosopher considered a well-structured Beginning, Middle and End essential to drama (story basically.)

This sounds almost comically obvious, but imagine this in professional terms.

In the notoriously short attention-span everyone has, wouldn’t it be necessary to make the Beginning of your CV as engaging as possible?

While narrating, it is necessary to know what and what not to include. Isn’t that what we do while constructing our CVs every time we apply somewhere?

Just like a good story, your “CV-tory” could change minds, simplify, communicate. It is the story of your (professional) life. The poster of the brand “you.”

In fact the recently used video and audio resumes further show the potential of the CV as a storytelling device.

You are the main character here, with well-practiced and perfectly delivered lines. And you must have the maximum impact on your “audience”: your recruiters/employers.

Interviews are storytelling sessions of sorts we engage in.

We choose particular details about our professional lives to tell the interviewer,  to make the “story” convey our eligibility. This story brands you.

Again, you must include everything in proper order for maximum impact. Relevance is important, isn’t it? Imagine talking about a great achievement of yours, at the Beginning of your interview. Wouldn’t that create a better level of engagement, rather than saying it towards the End when the interviewer has already made an impression about you in mind?

Good books, movies, plays have the power to move, so do good CVs, interviews and presentations.

Anecdotes are another form of storytelling we engage in our communications. They often counter biases and prejudices.

“I have been to that country, and it’s definitely not the way everyone thinks it is…”

“I heard it’s a great place to work at..”

Companies are making it a point to make their and their employees’ success-stories public. Storytelling has become a way to brand organisations.

Stories about successful people, stories we read about in daily newspapers, our lessons from our pasts: there are countless instances where stories motivate, teach, market and brand.

A “good story” crystallises thoughts, articulates them well. Stories give strategising a sense of direction, they tell us about the good and the bad ideas.

Stories are everywhere and so is storytelling if we keep our eyes, ears and minds open.