Author: Admin

Expect More from Yourself, But Don’t Underestimate Yourself

We often ignore what we are already contributing, while focusing on the ways we wanted to contribute but couldn’t. Read on.

Diya had been working at a designing firm for a couple of years now. While she had many years ahead of her to go still, she had been experienced enough to be considered as a mentor to the younger joinees. She was the perfect go-to person for them, when they felt intimidated by the older colleagues and out of synch with colleagues who were younger than them but had joined earlier. She was a great person to have on the team.

Diya was also a diligent employee in many ways: she always came to the office on time, had excellent skills required to do the job and had great work ethic.

But for Diya, these did not feel like great contributions. She felt she didn’t add much to the office, and felt herself replaceable. She thought anyone would be able to just work hard and fill her shoes. She felt she didn’t add anything to her company in general.

With these gloomy thoughts, she was sitting with a gloomy face in the lunchroom one day. That day, through a happy coincidence, her senior Swati walked in and saw a sad looking Diya. As she sat down with her and asked what the reason was for her dull mood, Diya told Swati bit by bit about feeling she doesn’t contribute much to the company in general.

When asked the reason for feeling this way, Diya said,

‘I have seen other colleagues take ideas to the boss. Every week someone walks into boss’s cabin and gives them ideas. I only give ideas when a client gives us the brief. Every week, I see juniors brainstorming something together and I admire them but also wonder why I couldn’t come up with that. Every week I look at a senior and see their portfolio, and I wonder if I will ever reach where they are…I am just so boring and replaceable.’

While Swati understood Diya’s frustration and her tendency to compare, she was also astounded by how Diya was underestimating her own self this way. Swati then told her something, which helped Diya and can very well help us as well. Because, let’s face it, whatever profession we are in, we may have felt like Diya many times.

So, what did Swati tell Diya? The advice, by the way, is a real advice by writer Shane Parrish: In focusing in on all the ways you want to grow and contribute, do not lose focus on things you are actually contributing and doing well.

It’s good to be self-aware and find opportunities to grow and learn. It’s good to try to understand where we are lacking, so we may focus on how to grow in that aspect. But in that process, we shouldn’t forget:

  • Expectations Vs Reality:

Our expectations are so fixed at times, like Diya, that we forget the ways in which we are contributing in reality. Diya wanted to bring more ideas to the table, she wanted to make an impressive portfolio for herself. But she forgot to look at the way she was already contributing, such as being a hard worker, a dependable person willing to spend time to understand the client’s requirements properly, a great team-player, a wonderful person to act as a bridge between the different age-groups in her office and so on. This brings us to the next point.

  • Blind to our Own Strengths:

We may also be blind to our own strengths and contributions because of our expectations from ourselves. We often contribute in other ways which we may not necessarily be aware about. We may want to learn how to network better but we may already be a great person to handle logistics. We may want to learn one skill better, but there might be other skills we are great at but since we don’t ‘want’ those, so we are blind to those. How unfair to ourselves!

While focusing on a way to fill the lack, we shouldn’t lose sight of the abundance we bring in other ways. It’s good to expect highly from yourself, but sometimes the reality of how you are is in itself great too!

Father’s Day: The Ground for the Sunshine

We celebrated Father’s Day recently. Some thoughts on foundation, ideas, leadership and risks. While the mother provides her warmth like sun-shine, the father does it differently.

Father’s Day just went by. We must have seen posts, received and sent messages and celebrated in our own little ways.

Fathers or father figures often are seen as providers and rarely as nurturers. It is often considered the mother’s ‘job’ to nurture and care, while the father is sadly placed outside of that invisible circle. But the truth is fathers also provide nurturing and care but in different ways. In fact, the paternal way of showing care can be transferred into many a lesson about leadership, calculated risk-taking and implementation of ideas.

Keeping Calm, to Keep the Spirits Up:

Often times, it is said that men struggle with expressing their emotions. There might be some truth to this: it is important to display your vulnerable side and being in touch with your feelings is the first step in managing them. However, it is also important to at times keep up the self-control and display calm. Not to suppress your feelings but to keep a strong team morale. When crisis hits, fathers provide a sense of protection, not just through their actions but also by their way of being.

Think about the times when one team-member panicked and the entire team, as if through a domino effect, started panicking. Think about the times, on the other hand, when through a calm and composed problem-solving, solution-oriented approach, the entire team found a way to power through the problem.

Love, through Simple Actions:

It seems a common experience of many: mothers are great at showering us with affectionate words and actions both- the warmth is there to feel immediately, no questions asked. How do fathers show affection? Well, it is more through small acts of love. Mention you like oranges to your father once, and you may have a bowl of oranges lying on the table the next day. For fathers, showing care is through the quiet resourcefulness of having the phone-numbers of important people, right from a mechanic, to a computer engineer in their phone book, ready for everyone’s use at an instant. 

In our management with clients and colleagues, it is worth noting that it is only through small cumulative actions and quiet resourcefulness at the end of the day that determine how successful an agenda, idea or plan has been. Elaborate plans, post-it notes, vision boards, agendas might be set, but it is the persistent implementation, working on it with our heads down that will determine whether it gets actually done or not. It is the quiet resourcefulness of knowing who to contact when, when all the elaborate networking will actually provide fruition.

Fun and risk, at the right time:

Look at a father during holidays, when he isn’t away at his office, and you will see him giving his kids the times of their lives. Whether it’s through big and small travels, or through playing cricket with them, fun with fathers has its own separate joy. In fact, mothers also feel safer through his presence, and when ordinarily she may have restricted the child from doing something, she lets them have fun, since she knows the father will manage everything.

In our dealing with matters of work, it is crucial to add that ‘fun’ element of calculated risk. The one little step we take that may or may not be a part of the original plan but something we felt we should do. That one client we feel we should take a chance on asking once again even when ‘logic’ says something else. That one call we feel scared to make but do it anyway. That one plan we have been waiting to go forward with when the ‘right’ time comes.

Mothers and fathers complement each other. It is almost impossible to talk about one without mentioning the other. One nurtures by providing warmth that radiates in all directions, impossible to miss, and the other provides a quiet ground to grow on, stable foundations, with deep roots. Mother and father, like the sun and the earth.