Tag: work culture

The Art of Being Patient and Impatient at the Right Time

There is much merit in knowing when to be patient and when to just ‘go for it’.

Seema and Shriya were having a little debate about whether the ‘slow and steady’ patience wins or whether it is the fast-paced ‘go for it’ approach that helps one get ahead in life.

You know, that classic hare or the tortoise race fable. Seema believed that it was impossible to achieve something where steps had not been taken after careful consideration. She believed success required planning, and planning required you to be patient. Shriya believed that it was impossible to move forward if one kept on patiently waiting and planning and analysing the small details. She believed in planning as little as possible and developing the ability to just ‘wing it’.

Seema believed in patience, and Shriya believed that patience was a waste of time.

Seema believed in trusting the process, Shriya believed in trusting your abilities.

Both approaches had merit, and no wonder everyone else in the office was torn between the two. On some days, you do need to be meticulous, and well-planned, and think about the short-term and long-term implications of the decisions you make. On some days, you just have your gut feeling and you must simply ‘go for it’.

Finally, after much debate, they decided to consult Zeenat, their boss. Zeenat had built the company from a small room, and now, here they were, years later in an office full of employees: COOs, CFOs, VPs, seniors, juniors, from all walks of life. They felt she was the best person to consult, with her experience, wisdom and success to show. Zeenat, their boss. Zeenat, the resident ‘Zen master’ !

As they laid their arguments to her, Zeenat took a pause, rested her palms on the table, and meditated on the two sides for a minute or two, and finally said:

‘You are both right. And you are both wrong’.

Spoken like a true Zen master, no?

Looking at their Seema and Shriya’s puzzled expressions, she continued,

‘You should be patient and impatient both. But being patient and impatient at the wrong time and place will not work. Let me put it this way: you must be patient with results. Results don’t always show up overnight. You must trust the process. You must be patient for the seeds to grow.

‘You must plan ahead, you must work hard and be patient with everything that you do before the seeds of your work show up. If you are impatient, you wouldn’t do one thing properly and will end up going all over the place. You mustn’t be impatient with the results. You see, soil doesn’t yield anything if you don’t let the seeds grow.

‘At the same time, you must be impatient with one thing, and that is effort. If you keep planning without doing anything to execute the plan, you won’t achieve much. If you keep waiting for the ideas to come to you, to trust the timing, without putting in the time into efforts, nothing will happen. You must be relentless and impatient with your efforts. With your execution of ideas. You know what they say- good luck comes to those who work hard. ‘

We need impatience and patience both, at the right time and context. Impatience with efforts. Patience with letting the results show up. This is how the cycle of effort and results harmonizes.

Learning from the Navdurgas

As the festive season sets in, there are ways to enrich ourselves by understanding the Navdurgas.

image for article about learning from navratri

As Navratri sets in, we begin with the festive stretch of the year.

Whether you are here for the devotion, the culture, or just the festivities, there is something for everyone.

Festivals are not just here for our enjoyment, but also our enrichment. They teach us important life-skills, approaches and enable us to live a fulfilling life.

So, without further ado, let us dive into how we can wield the festive spirit to the best of our advantage!

Understanding Differences in Approaches: Navratri has nine forms of the goddess (the ‘devi’), the ‘Navdurgas’ and each form represents not only a quality but an approach to life and the world. Every form is equally valid and no approach, no quality is of less importance. They are ultimately part of the universal shakti, the energy that runs the world according to the mythology.

Shailaputri represents stability, Brahmacharini represents ascetism, Chandraghanta beauty and peace, Kushmanda creation, Skandmata protection and motherhood, Katyayani courage and strength against evil, Kalaratri destruction of fears, Maha Gauri radiance and enlightenment, Siddhidhatri accomplishments and fulfilment.

Different situations require us to channelise the different approaches. Some days we need patience to approach a task. Some days, anger helps to get things done. Some days we need wisdom with our decisions and some days fearlessness. Some days we need to lead and nurture, and on other days, we need to be still.

Thinking about a task with the question of ‘how do I need to approach this particular situation?’ enables us to develop flexibility and context-specific decision-making.

Understanding your Own Strengths: Closely related to understanding how each goddess-form represents an approach to life, is an understanding of each one’s strength.

Each one of has a strength, a characteristic quality that we can wield like no one else.

The goddess-forms too have their own defining characteristics. The grounded nature and stability of Shailaputri is unparalleled. The anger of Kalaratri and the warrior-spirit of Katyayani are literal forces of nature. Maha Gauri’s calm energises us in an altogether different way. Do we try to find the energy of peace when we are looking for the intensity, or vice versa? No, right?

Similarly, each one of us has a strength that almost works as a gift for us. Instead of comparing ourselves to others, why not find out our strengths and channelise them to our advantage? One might be an excellent organiser, while someone else might be an excellent communicator. Another might be an excellent multitasker, while one might excel in deep focused work. Finding our strengths is the key to understanding how we can contribute to our own development as well as development of those around us, whether our loved ones, or the company we work for.

The goddess-forms ultimately are a part of the cosmic ‘shakti’, the energy. They are not really separate from each other- the approach takes the centre-stage based on what the situation requires. Similarly, we have everything within us- calm, strength, anger, agency, wisdom. It is tapping into what works for us the best that enables us to run things. Whether it is running the universe, a company or a team!

Do you Matter at your Workplace?

Feeling like one matters at work can help in stress-reduction, employee-retention and opportunities for growth.

Priyam has been working at his company for two years now. He is in-charge of the sanitation and cleanliness management staff at his office. Although he works in a corporate office, his is not your typical high-profile corporate job one would associate with power and prestige. The income is decent- not too high as compared to certain jobs. But he is happy at his job, and he likes going to work.

Prita has been working at a different company for two years now. She is in-charge of the marketing department at the company. A high-profile, high-power, high-earning job. Since she is in-charge, she often gets to delegate work, which also reduces her stress- and work- load by quite a lot. But she is not happy at her job, and she does not like going to work.

What is it that makes a difference to these two employees? Objectively, on paper, Prita should be the happier person. After all, she earns more, is on a more prestigious position conventionally speaking, and definitely is supposed to have more clout at the workplace. But why is it that the opposite is the case?

The answer is simple but profound- Priyam feels like he matters at work. Prita doesn’t feel like she matters at work.

Priyam’s company makes him feel that he matters at work. His job is not that high-stakes and high-profile- hid company won’t lose millions if she falters. But he nevertheless matters, and is made to feel that he matters. His boss Shweta routinely appreciates his work. She thanks him for the work he does at the company. He and his work are treated with respect. He gets opportunities- in fact, Priyam started out as a simple cleaning staff member, and eventually, rose to become the head of that department. His work might not be conventionally ‘high-profile’ but everyone in the company understands and respects the effort that goes behind keeping the office space clean, organised. Right from the handwashes in the bathroom, to the plates and cutlery in the kitchen, everything is in perfect order thanks to Pushpam and his team.

And everyone, especially Shweta understands this value that Priyam generates. More importantly, Shweta communicates this to Priyam. Priyam and his work matter. Priyam feels this way, and that makes him happy at his job.

Prita on the other hand feels like she doesn’t matter at her job. Her boss Anil, although appreciates Prita’s work and her team-management skills, he doesn’t communicate that. No matter how much of a success a project by Prita garners, she almost never gets a ‘good job’. It has been long since Prita has received any acknowledgement to her contributions to the company. A certificate perhaps, a token of appreciation, but that is it. Regular words and regular actions do not make Prita feel like she matters at work or what she does is appreciated. Since Anil is uncommunicative, Prita’s other colleagues reflect the same mindset- if the boss herself doesn’t say anything nice, they also don’t feel the need to appreciate Prita.

Prita wonders if she is doing something wrong, and if the certificates and tokens are just formalities. Her confidence levels have come down over the years at the company, despite being the head of a department herself. Prita feels this way, and that makes her unhappy at her job.

It is a simple matter of feeling like one matters at work.

As people working among a collective of professionals, whether we are employers, or colleagues, according to research by Psychology Today, making our employees or fellow co-workers feel mattered at work can contribute to their general well-being, job satisfaction, and lower chances of burnout, stress and anxiety. It can lead to one being happier in leadership positions. Moreover, it can also lead to higher employee retention.

So, what can we do to make our employees and/or co-workers feel like they matter at work? Simple things, such as:

  • Thanking people for their work. Acknowledge their efforts. Not just through tokens and certificates, but say it through your words and actions. Even simple recognition can go a long way.
  • Let people know you have belief in their capabilities. If you are at a mentorship position, you can also provide them opportunities to grow so that they realise that you genuinely care about them, and haven’t just hired them for convenience.
  • When you observe something remarkable about people, don’t simply keep it to yourself- make it known that you see what they are doing. If you are the boss, this acknowledgement will hold even more weight.
  • If you aren’t the boss, you can still tell someone how you appreciate their work, and if you have opportunity, you can bring it up in front of everyone, or at least communicate that to your boss.

At the core lies the fact that people who do the hard work should know that you see them.

Psychology and age-old wisdom say that, often the key to living a fulfilled life is not happiness. It is meaning. And the first step to finding meaning at work, is to feel that what we do matters. That what we do is a meaningful contribution to the fabric of our profession. When we find this meaning by feeling like the work we do matter, happiness soon enough, follows.

Don’t Forget to Enjoy the Game While Scoring Goals!

image of a goal and a clock representing living in the moment while setting goals

What is common between someone waiting for their promotion and a grumpy toddler in the car asking every five minutes ‘are we there yet’?

They both keep waiting for a destination, and they ignore the wonderful present.

We have all been there. We wait for the perfect moment, the perfect reward to find happiness and purpose. Once xyz happens, I will be/do abc. We can use this template for any number of instances:

  • Once I get that promotion, I will be happy.
  • Once I get that job, I will be happy.
  • Once I get happy, I will be able to engage with my job in a better way.
  • Once I land that job, I will start living a healthier lifestyle.
  • Once I finish this task, I will give more time to my family.
  • Once I achieve my goal…then…

A cycle of promises that might never end.

Go back to maybe ten-fifteen years ago. Did you have the same goals? And did you make some of these conditional promises to yourself at that time as well? For some of us, this thought experiment may lead to a sense of accomplishment- that we were able to indeed fulfil some of those promises. You may have promised yourself that you will learn time-management better once you finish your exams and have more mental space to make priorities, and you did manage to learn that. You may have promised yourself that once you reach a certain post, you will buy your first car, and you did manage to buy it. You may have promised yourself that once that goal has been achieved, you will become happier and life will become better. Life may have become happier and better for a while.

Did that last? 

Look at us now, using the same template of making promises to ourselves, delaying our happiness. Delaying our sense of gratitude.  Living in stress, and waiting for goal to be fulfilled. Waiting to arrive at the destination, ignoring the journey.

The goalposts of life are forever moving, forever in making. Once we achieve a goal, we build a new goalpost. The significance of the old goal and the goalpost slowly starts to wane.

Once we achieve a goal, we often forget to look around and instead keep looking straight ahead.

Of course, it is good to plan things ahead and think long-term. It is great to have foresight. But it is also necessary to remember Life is always moving ahead, it always goes on. And it WILL bring new aspirations, new landmarks, new promises, new conditions.

And one must not forget to enjoy the process, enjoy the present. Doing so lets us:

  • Enjoy the results of that thing one worked really hard for.
  • Pause and notice what is around us, that may help us to actually work on our processes for our goals in a more precise manner. Imagine worrying so much about who to network with once we get that promotion, and forgetting to network with our present colleagues and seniors who may have a lot to offer!
  • Be happy in the present moment.
  • Find meaning in the present moment and find meaning when life goes in flux. Take the very unfortunate scenario of not being able to achieve the goal for some reason, despite the hard work. Having enjoyed the process, one would have garnered many life lessons, professional and personal development and insights about what could have been done better. One would be developing a healthy respect for their present situation, while looking forward to what lies ahead. Not having enjoyed the process? One would go into an existential crisis of sorts- one might feel that now that the goal hasn’t been achieved, everything that gave meaning to your life may feel like it’s lost. Why? Because the goal had become everything.

So, as we set goals, let us enjoy the process of reaching that goal. The goalposts will keep shifting, and the game shall go on. And the point is to enjoy the game nevertheless.

Retelling the Stories of Disappointment

Disappointments are a part of life. We can retell the ‘stories’ of disappointment we tell ourselves to grow and move forward through them.

image depicting ways to retell stories of disappointment
  • Ankita had a look of utter disappointment on her face. Her proposal about a project had been rejected. She had worked hard for it, and although she did realise the few gaps in her work, she felt it was still good enough to be considered, with some minor tweaks.
  • Anu had been giving interviews the entire week and none of the companies she interviewed for had called back. She was starting to think if she even had the bare minimum qualifications, given the lack of positive response to her interview.
  • Adit had just been sidelined for a position, in the final round of his interview. Till the very last stage, he had been ahead but the last task gave the other candidate a major edge, which ultimately was their gain and Adit’s loss.

Do these scenarios evoke a stressful negative memory in you? We all must have faced disappointments like these or worse. A project we worked hard on didn’t turn out the way we wanted it to be. Expectations crashed. Or an interview we thought we had aced only to realise we missed out on the job by an inch. Or a professional networking relationship we had invested in, hoping the client will accept the pitch we provide utlimately, only to realise the client chose a different pitch.

Disappointments are a part of life. Professional and personal. How someone else- a person, a panel or a committee responds to our ideas, or how our ideas land in a situation is beyond our control.

What is in our control though is the story we tell ourselves. And how we use that story to progress and improve ourselves. In our earlier articles, we have talked about the power of storytelling in pitching, networking and ideating.

We can harness the power of a different kind of ‘storytelling’ in how we look at our disappointments as well, because at the end of the day, we are all telling ourselves stories about what we do.

Ankita told herself the story that her project proposal got rejected, the one which she worked so hard for, and that which she thought was enough to get accepted.

  • She can retell the story in a different way: Although her project proposal was rejected, she has this draft of the proposal ready the next time she is asked to pitch in her ideas. All she will need to do is fill in the gaps which she has spotted already. And suddenly, she feels motivated and ready with something for the next time. She moves forward through this disappointment.

Anu told herself the story that none of the companies she interviewed for have called her back yet.

  • She can retell the story in a different way: Although she hasn’t heard from any of the companies she had interviewed for as yet, she has gained so much experience in giving interviews this past week, and has her name in the databases of all these companies, and any day she may be contacted, if not right in the near future as the first preference, then as a silver medal candidate. This retelling helps her release some negativity from her mind, and also gain some confidence in her skills, which might help her to crack the next interview, who knows.

Adit told himself the story that he just lost out on the position in the last round, and another candidate edged past him.

  • He can retell the story in a different way: Although he lost out on the job, he has developed a possible network of seniors and colleagues who have actually seen him progress through the rounds of the interview, the rounds where right until the end he had been the top performer. They have seen his strengths and weaknesses. He can actually approach one of them as possible mentors perhaps. Or the visibility he gained through the rounds of the interview itself opens doors to many possibilities. Possibilities of networking, future opportunities and mentorship. Again, he moves forward through this mindset, whether it’s seeking mentorship to improve upon himself, or finding opportunities elsewhere.

Note that in any of these examples, there is no reality denied. At the same time a sense of possibility is not denied as well. It is not toxic positivity- it is looking at things as they are from a different frame of mind. It is a story that helps one move past the disappointment. It is a story that helps one to move forward.

Disappointments are a part of life, but how we frame those disappointments in our minds decides the long-term outcomes of these disappointments. Disappointments can remain stories of disappointment. Or we can retell these stories and find ways to make the best of them. We can grow and move forward through them.