Tag: competition

Comparison: Not Always a Thief of Joy

image to show good comparison

Ayaan was at a mental space where a lot of us may have been from time to time:

He was having a good day at office. He had been happy with how a team meeting had gone by, and how the next set of objectives was looking like. That good day though was soon engulfed by a gloom. Why? In one of the objectives listed out, he was supposed to have his general manager get in touch with the general manager of one of the client companies he was working with. Who was the general manager of this client company? His own classmate!

He and this classmate had started out together. They had studied from the same university, and had the same certifications. So how was it that the classmate had reached a higher post before him? How was it that Ayaan reported to a general manager, and this classmate himself had become the general manager?

Ayaan was wracking his brain, deep into comparison: ‘How did this classmate’s career progressed more than mine even though we started out at the same time?’ ‘How much does he earn, I wonder?’ ‘Why did he get this opportunity, and how come I did not? How unlucky for me!’ ‘What if I had done that one other course instead of…?’ and so on.

All kinds hows and whys and what ifs were playing in Ayaan’s mind.

They say comparison is the thief of joy.

But is it so that we should never undertake any kind of comparison? After all, sometimes, it is the pressure to excel that motivates us to work harder. It is not a good idea to always be in a bubble, too comfortable in one’s life- that can lead to a lack of growth and wasted potential. Some comparison, some challenge, some striving for getting better is needed.

As James Clear, writer of the book ‘Atomic Habit’ says, comparison of the wrong things is the thief of joy. If one compares the wrong things, it can make one miserable. But if one compares the right things, and actually embraces the challenge to ‘win’ in the comparison at some point, it can lead to growth and improvement.

Ayaan is miserable because he compared the big things, the ‘wrong’ things like career trajectory, income, opportunities got and luck found.

What he can do instead is compare the little things. Little things such as: ‘What would be the classmate’s networking style that led him to this opportunity?’ ‘How does the classmate maintain his composure in such a high-pressure job?’ ‘What does his classmate do when it comes to task and time management?’ ‘What sort of strategies does he use which I can learn from?’

And so on.

Comparing the little things, the right things means comparing the concrete things. Things one can actually understand and learn from. Things which one can actually implement, and hone based on one’s own requirements and needs. Things which we can take under our control. Things which are not governed by luck and one’s life situation.

So yes, comparison of the wrong things is the thief of joy. Comparison of the right things can be fuel for our growth.

Key to Collaborating Effectively

Collaboration at work in various degrees is always present. A company or organisation works because we have multiple people contributing their varying set of skills and competencies, experience levels and ideas, and thus collaborating in a subtle, unnoticed way. Within and between the organisations too, there are opportunities to consciously collaborate on projects, meetings and objectives.

Collaboration is everywhere, team-work is everywhere, and yet sometimes we end up feeling overwhelmed or unnecessarily called out. Departments might feel the workload is lopsided, that some departments have it easy. At the group level too, individuals might feel some of them are doing more work than the others. On the other hand, some might not even understand the need to collaborate in the first place.

The question then arises- how to collaborate effectively? Let us have a look around the question, and what pointers can be kept in mind.

Collaborate to Build Capacity:

Collaboration is about complementing the limitations of one side and using the strengths of the other to balance things out. Hence, it involves some form of helping, uplifting, which can be a huge motivation for people. Moreover, some people just go the extra mile because that is just how they function- they like to take on responsibilities head on.

 On its downside, this motivation can also lead one to overwork and micromanage actions of others, leading to feeling like ‘I am doing all the work here’.  At some point, a few people carrying the lopsided wagon are going to undergo some form of burnout.

To avoid such a situation, it’s a good idea to remember that collaboration is about building capacity of everyone. As an article by Harvard Business Review points out:

‘Helping is the quintessential constructive act, and it gives us a sense of purpose, fulfils a deep need to be useful, and bolsters our identity. But if you jump in too quickly or too often or in ways that solve others’ problems without building capability, you inevitably become the path of least resistance for too many requests.

….. Don’t solve peoples’ problems directly when you do jump in. Instead, connect them to the right people, point them to the information or resources they need, or coach them on how best to solve the problem. ‘

It is about showing the direction, perhaps delegating but ultimately walking together.

But then there is the opposite end of this spectrum.

Not Everyone Might be Very Enthusiastic to Collaborate:

There are individuals who are willing to take on collaborative projects, ready to interact with people across the world, literally and figuratively. And then there are the ones who might see the collaboration as an attack on their skills and competencies. The underlying feeling might be ‘Do they think we are not capable enough to do this on our own?’

This might especially be the problem with people who are experts or super-specialists. Seniors might feel attacked and juniors might feel underconfident about their abilities. Some others might just feel like the collaboration is ‘an imposition on their time’ and ‘extra workload’ as an article by Mindtools puts it. This is especially true for people who like to work more independently.

To avoid, this, it is important to first, to be clear about the purpose of collaboration and second, to let the collaborators know what’s in it for them.

As the articles goes on to point out, a strong, shared purpose can work wonders in this attitude. And letting people know how this collaboration would help them, for example, something as simple and straightforward as a bonus, more recognition, a chance to develop and learn new skill(s), career progression, can work as a great motivation for a good attitude towards the idea of collaboration.

The More the Merrier? Not Always:

A very basic and obvious sounding pointer to keep in mind: the key to collaborating effectively is not simply to involve a greater number of people but to involve the right people.  An analogy of a team-sport like football can work here: when the team is not playing well, more players are not added. Instead, some players are substituted for new players who might be feeling less tired, or who might have the specific set of skills needed to win the particular game.

Moreover, the ‘substitution’ is not seen as a lack of skill of the player who is replaced- their skills might be used better in a different game. The ‘substitution’ is not simply a replacement per se– it is rather letting the one who has the relevant skills for that context take the lead. The substituted player still has a place in the team.

Similarly, when a task or a project doesn’t seem to be working out too well, the key might be to recheck the kind of skills and competencies that are needed for the task, and ‘substitute’ the team members accordingly.

At an organisational level, this ‘substitution’ can simply be seen as letting one department take the lead on the particular project, rather than replacing anyone or anything entirely. It’s a win-win situation. Again, taking on the lead doesn’t mean that there is no delegation or no walking together towards the common goal- the team remains intact.

It is widely being accepted that in the contemporary world of work, it is collaboration and not competition that is key to thriving, as we have talked about in one of our earlier articles. And to collaborate effectively, a shared sense of purpose, and a willingness ‘to learn and let others learn’ are some pointers to keep in mind. 

The Art of Staying Here and Now: New Lessons from an Old Fable

It is 2021, and one thing everyone told us to do with 2020 was to learn some crucial life lessons.

It is like a recorded message at this point- gratitude, being present in the moment, making use of the resources we have are some ‘lessons’ we were told to learn. Lessons to be learnt are never ending, even when the year ends. So, for a little novelty here, and not to repeat the recording, we shall add a twist.

We shall talk about a crucial lesson to be learnt, but we shall talk about a story, a fable, which would be familiar to most of us but we may or may not have delved beyond what we were told the moral of the story was.

Remember that hare and the tortoise story?

There was a challenge between the two- the hare wanted to prove he was the fastest in the jungle, and the tortoise wanted to prove how the slow and the steady win the race. The hare was far ahead in the race; the tortoise was nowhere to be seen. The hare decided to rest, and since he was already in the lush meadows, it was not at all difficult for him to fall asleep under a giant shady tree. And thus, the tortoise quietly and steadily treaded along, and won the race.

They say the hare fell prey to his overconfidence and laziness.

Well, that’s one way to look at it.

Let us take on the character of the hare. Let us pretend he gave an interview later. (After 2020, nothing is crazy anymore.)

So, we ask the hare if he is the one who lost the race- indeed he was!

We ask- do you admit to your laziness and complacence? And that the tortoise had more persistence and dedication?

Yes, the tortoise was more persistent and dedicated but I was not lazy and complacent; no, let me explain, says the hare. And the explanation goes this way.

The hare was assured of his lead, but he also found himself admiring the beauty of the meadows, the gentleness of the breeze, the musical sound of the water gushing in a pond nearby with ducks cackling, and the shade of the tree. He wanted to drift off on a log of wood. Who wouldn’t, when the nature around was so abundant and so pleasant?

An old meditative looking man, in his flowing beard saw the hare and asked him what he was up to and why he was running a race.

We know the hare’s answer- To show all the creatures in the jungle that he was the fastest; to win that coveted medal; to be remembered and respected as the fastest of all.

The old man asked if he knew who the last fastest creature was. The hare didn’t know.

The old man asked what he would do when someone else challenged him tomorrow- today a tortoise challenged, tomorrow a snake shall do it, and the day after, a zebra- the challenges will never stop. Would he continue to race all his life? Did he want that?

And suddenly, the hare knew what he wanted. He wanted to jump into the pond, and after a good swim doze off under the tree. He did exactly that. The ducks in the pond looked at him quizzically, asking him about the race. No, said the hare, I am here and now, and that is all that matters. I want to live. I don’t want to become a part of this endless race.

That day, the hare realised the value of living in the present- just the anticipation of competition was enough to drive him to get into unhealthy competition.

That day, the hare realised the gift of resources it had, and the power of gratitude- he realised he did not need any race to prove how gifted he was. 

That day, the hare realised the power of staying in the now and the present- he assessed his needs based on where he was at present, and made a decision about what he wanted to do based on his real, current scenario, and not rushing on to a decision which was wrought in unnecessary anticipation and unhealthy competition.

That day, the hare lost the race but got his life back.

They tell life is a marathon, and not a sprint. But whoever said life was a race in the first place?

In a bid to prove ourselves to critics who might not even matter, in a bid to make a statement, in a bid to prove a point, we often forget to live in the present. We forget to see that we are doing just fine, and there is no need to join a race we don’t even need to be a part of.

Remember, not participating in the ‘race’ doesn’t mean giving up on competence, healthy competition, and doesn’t mean we give up upgrading our skill-set. It just means we keep upgrading what we need to upgrade, without the need to prove a point. It just means we look at our goals with an intention to enjoy the process, and work because we genuinely want to do something for ourselves, without the need to make a statement.

It just means being present in the moment, where all that matters is looking around and doing what makes us happy, contributing to our personal and professional growth.