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Two Perspectives about Getting on and off the Wrong Train

Life sometimes puts us on the ‘wrong train’. How to decide if we need to get off the train or just enjoy the view?

Life rarely goes as planned. Maybe you didn’t plan on the having the job you currently have, even five years ago. Sometimes, we chase after opportunities and sometimes, we are made to create opportunities for ourselves. We decide on one thing and another thing happens. There are two perspectives to these ideas about change (of life and plans of life for us) and growth.

The Cost of Change:

There’s a well-known Japanese proverb that goes:

“If you get on the wrong train, get off at the nearest station. The longer it takes you to get off, the more expensive the return trip will be.”

This can be applied to so many scenarios of life:

-Feel stuck in a job you don’t like? Quit before your mind gives in to the habit of comfortable misery. Get off the next station.

-Feel stuck on an idea you know doesn’t seem to be working out? Stop and check if you should put it on the side for now, quit or course correct. Decide the ‘station’ you want to get off and do that before the train rams into your sense of competence.

-If a project needs you to test something on a user, test on one user, in a controlled environment, so in case there’s a flaw, it doesn’t reach thousand users later. Decide if it works and make the required changes as early as you can. The more you stall, the more expensive the return ticket becomes. As the writer Steve Krug puts it, ‘the cost of change grows over time.’

The Suprises of a Journey:

On the other side of this coin about ‘getting off’ from the ‘wrong train’, there are countless writers and philosophers from across the world that remind us how it is the journey that is more important than the destination. One may get on the wrong train, one may not reach their originally planned destination. But they still get to take in new, undiscovered scenery. The ‘wrong’ train may eventually make us find new a destination we didn’t even know we needed.

This too can be applied to many scenarios in life:

-Stuck with a job which you didn’t plan on having? Might as well learn something about it now and try your best to do it well, with your full presence. We may know people professionally who didn’t plan on getting in a career they are in right now and somehow, managed to be at the top of that career they ‘originally’ hadn’t thought of choosing.

-Your initial idea has turned all topsy-turvy and you don’t know what to do with it now? Maybe there is a new direction your idea is meant to go in.

-Testing on a thousand users led to a different outcome than anticipated? Maybe think if the users can still benefit from this ‘new’ outcome.

Getting on a wrong train may either lead you away from your planned destination, or it may lead you to a destination you were more suitable to go in. Our decision then lies not in quitting, or staying but deciding the cost of staying on the ‘wrong’ train. And both decisions can be sensible ones depending on our situation. Some questions we may ask ourselves are:

  • Is the cost of change likely to make your life miserable?
  • What will you lose if you stay on the wrong train?
  • Is there something you may gain if you stay on the wrong train? 

These are the answers we need, which may help us decide whether to get off at the next station or enjoy the scenery. So dear reader, would you like a new ticket or would you like to get off at the next station?

Women’s Day Everyday: The Power of Flipping the Script

A tribute to the woman who knows how to wield her quiet strength, loudly!

It was lunch break and all through it, Ann had a sullen, gloomy expression on her face. She had barely any appetite due to her mood, and had swallowed down her lunch very mechanically.

Sarita, her senior colleague and a friend had noticed this, and had gently asked Ann if anything was wrong.

‘Everything seems wrong!’ Ann had said, as if that gentle question triggered a deep-seated anger, pain and frustration in her. Ann continued,

‘I feel like all these Women’s Day posts don’t mean anything at all. At the end of the day, everyone expects a woman to do everything. She’s made the caretaker of everyone and everything, including herself and her own activties. But no one really cares for her when she needs it!’

Sarita had been listening intently, and now she gently spoke to Ann,

‘I absolutely understand what you mean. A woman is expected to manage her home well, and do good professionally. If she struggles in her career, those struggles are not taken seriously because her career often isn’t taken seriously. If she struggles in taking care of the home, that same career is blamed.

‘When someone in the family falls sick, she takes care of them, but when she falls sick, she almost always never receives the care that she gives. She starts receiving the care only when everyone realises the home management has taken a hit.

‘If she does receive good care without having to ask for it, that is considered an exception, when actually that care should be the norm… ’

Ann had been nodding hard at all these points that Sarita was making.

‘Yes, this is what I mean. Don’t you find it frustrating? This huge burden of expectations, this tight-rope balance?’ Ann asked Sarita.

Sarita responded, ‘I agree with this too. However, I have something to say, which might turn your frustration into a calm motivation.’

‘What is it?’

‘You said how a woman is turned into a caretaker. How about we flip the script here, and think of a woman not as a caretaker and instead as a caregiver?’

‘How so?’

‘We can think of it that a woman chooses to balance her career and home. Not because she is made to. We all know women who successfully do so. We also know women who choose to successfully prioritize home, and let their career become a second priority. We also know women who do vice versa. Maybe, even if the society did not make her balance it all, she’d still want to do that, because she is capable of making a choice for herself.’

Ann at this point had become more pensive, and less angry. She nodded, calmly, and not as vigorously as she had done earlier. Sarita continued,

‘I do agree that even in 2026, many, many women are not fortunate enough to have this ability to flip the script, that is, of making choices and not have choices made for them. The change perhaps can begin with us. Think of it celebrating Women’s Day every day…’

‘How so? How do we celebrate Women’s Day every day?’

‘Women’s day every day means assuming that whatever a woman does, it is based on careful thought on her own part. That it is her choice. It means assuming that her gentleness, her care, her kindness, her priorities are displays of her strength and not her weakness. It means assuming that even in circumstances that may or may not be the best for her, she is in charge of her own decisions. It is assuming that strength can be loud, assertive and powerful, but also quiet, gentle and kind. Sometimes, these qualities are seen separately and sometimes, they intermingle beautifully.’

Sarita continued,

‘We should definitely continue to empower the women who do not have the privileges and freedom we take for granted. But we should not assume that a woman does not have the strength to make a decision for herself, no matter how dire the situation is.

‘Think of it this way- within the limitations which may have been imposed on her, she will still most likely decide to do what is best for her, in that situation. Of course, I am not saying the situation will always be good and that it shouldn’t be improved. My point is that women are incredibly strong. And one can be strong in many ways. We have a quiet strength that doesn’t fade, whatever the situation might be.

We are not mere caretakers, passively taking care. We are caregivers, because we willingly give that care. And this is how we celebrate Women’s Day every day- by reminding ourselves about this quiet strength, that knows when to become loud.’

And that, dear friends, is the power of flipping the script! Team UHR extends warm Women’s Day wishes, to all the strong women. We salute the strength that can be quiet, gentle, kind and loud, powerful, assertive in equal measure.

From Old to New to Old: A Reminder About Being ‘Good’ At Our Jobs

Ashok had decided to start his own recruiting firm. He felt he had enough of experience working in the industry and now it was time to start something on his own.

Janki had been thinking about going back to her job as a programmer now that her child had grown up enough. Her industry had undergone massive shifts during her maternal sabbatical, and she had quite a task to do with all the upskilling and re-training that she was going to need.

Ajeet had been a successful architect, having made a name for himself for years, and with many famous projects to his name. But he had now decided to change tracks and start working at an NGO that provided vocational training to the underprivileged.

In all these different cases, there is one thing in common.

You may guess that all of them seem to be people going after their passion. But maybe Janki’s case is just that she wants to get back to working, passion or not, we do not know.

You may guess that all of them seem to be people who are starting something new. Maybe, but Ashok is starting a new recruiting company, but he isn’t unfamiliar with recruiting. Similarly, Janki isn’t completely unfamiliar with programming.

You may guess they are all taking a leap of faith in trying to do something out of their established lives. They are all seeking to venture out of their familiar zones. While that is true, there is one common thing that binds all these cases together, and that is they might take time to get ‘efficient’ at their new ventures.

In their old established jobs, they could put in 20% of effort and would be able to reap 80% of the outcomes. That 80/20 ratio of the Pareto Principle may go for a toss for these people as they undertake something new.

Like we said, they may need more time to get things done. To feel like they actually ‘achieved’ their dreams.

This is a thought a lot of us may have when we think of following what our heart tells us. The world around has trained us for instant gratification. We want instant results and instant effectiveness. We want the results of the Pareto Principle where 20% of our efforts are enough to get 80% of the results.

But the truth is that venturing out of our familiar comfort zones has an initial cost, and that is our time. Learning something new requires our time and we may not get immediately efficient at the task. In those moments, it is tempting to give it all up for the comfort of old efficiency. Ashok may need some time to understand how to manage an entire firm, formulate its policies from the scratch, manage personnel and he may be tempted to go back to his old job where he just had to follow his boss’s policies. Janki may need some time to upskill and understand the new developments in her industry and she may be tempted to go back to her life as a stay-at-home mother. Ajeet may need a lot of time to understand how an NGO works, and it maybe tempting to him to go back to his job as architect where his years of practice come to him automatically.

But what Ashok, Janki, Ajeet (and all of us!) should remember is that their ‘old’ old jobs also required years for them to gain mastery. It was years of experience and hard work that made them an efficient recruiter, earlier programmer and later mother and architect. Years of hands-on experience and hard work for them to achieve the 20/80.

Any new path, any stepping out of comfort zones may not give us instant results. Efficiency takes time to develop. Does that mean we give up?

Of course not!

When we begin something new, the path is rarely easy. In those moments, we might need to give more time to things. We may need to work overtime (and not be a clock-watcher at that!). An old task we have been doing for years may require less time than a new task we have just learnt. But just because we aren’t efficient now, doesn’t mean we cannot get efficient ever!

Getting ‘good’ at any new job, any new venture requires time. Instead of looking back at our old life, the path is to look forward, because soon, this ‘new’ will become ‘old’, meaning, efficiency will soon come to us!

One Question, Three Answers, Three Outlooks

Three different answers to ‘what are you doing?’ can help you to be present, set goals and find meaning.

Can three people be doing the exact same thing, with the exact same tools and still see three different possibilities?

Three brick-layers are doing their job of laying bricks, neatly in a row. Someone asks one brick-layer: ‘What are you doing?’

He responds: ‘I am laying bricks.’

Someone asks the second brick-layer: ‘What are you doing?’

He responds: ‘I am building a wall.’

The third brick-layer gets asks” ‘What are you doing?’

He responds: ‘I am building a house.’

Three different people, doing supposedly the same job, having completely different answers. The beauty is that none of them are wrong.

Having said that, they do point to three different mentalities, which we have to adopt in different situations.

  • The Immediate Present/Task at Hand: The first brick-layer’s answer of ‘I am laying bricks’ is grounded in the immediate reality. No looking forward, no looking backward, and taking things one brick at a time. There are some tasks and situations that demand this kind of a mentality. Stressed about the outcome of something, wondering if it will go according to the plan in your head? We take it one brick at a time, one small task at a time. Not sure what to do next? We take it one brick at a time and eventually, a structure will start building itself. Overwhelmed with a huge seemingly impossible to-do list? We take it one small task at a time, and eventually, the boxes will be checked off.
  • The Larger Perspective/The Point: The second brick-layer’s answer of ‘I am building a wall’ is grounded in planning and setting realistic goals. It looks ahead, and that looking ahead gives the rationale of why something is being done in the first place. And in what sort of situations can we apply such an attitude? Your team is not sure why you are asking them to do a task? Tell them what doing that task will lead to. Your meeting agenda seems to be a list of random things to do? Structure them in a list of tasks, objects and expected results, and see the magic of reason taking over the assignment. Tasks make a hundred times more sense when we understand the point of doing them.
  • The Meaning/That’s What it’s All About: The third brick-layer’s answer of ‘I am building a house’ is grounded in giving meaning to life. It is the grandest of mentality and thus will require a slightly larger (than life) explanation. There are times when whatever we do, we feel it won’t matter. The commute to and from the office, the constant weeks of tasks, the meetings, the overtime- it all just seems to be a waste. Even when we do understand why we are doing something practically (to pay the bills, to finalise that deal, to ace that interview, to streamline the office), we sometimes do not see the point of anything. The reality of the mundane drains us. It is in times like these the third mentality comes in: it forces us back into the big ‘why’ of our choices.  The brick-layer became a brick-layer to build houses. Maybe you became a recruiter to help people find a job that matches their inner calling. Maybe you became a teacher to guide the young folks who are the future of the country. Maybe you went into finance to understand the use of abundance in the right way. Maybe you became a lawyer to give justice to everyone. In the daily office-work we sometimes forget why we were drawn to something in the first place. And when we remind ourselves what’s all this has been about, hope and motivation renew. Laying bricks to build a house.

Every day is not the same, and perhaps we can ask ourselves ‘what are doing?’ and decide the answer that is needed.

The Courage to do it Scared

Sometimes, we must go after our goals even when we are scared.

image to represent new year resolutions and planning to implement them, going after your goals even when scared

Weeks into the new year, Deepa felt miserable because she was not able to implement all the big and small New Year resolutions she had made.

Noticing her gloom, the people around her had tried to reassure her:

“It’s okay, it has only been a few weeks, you still have the time to implement your plans.”

“It’s okay, maybe you can start your plans during the Spring season, the actual new year in nature!”

“It’s okay, you can only begin with the small resolutions and then move on to the bigger ones.”

“Yes, take it slow, one day at a time, one resolution at a time…”

Slow, she had taken it, and she had the necessary planning, all done. The only thing to be done was the implementation, and yet something was stopping her.

Varsha, a wise old friend who was also like a mentor had been noticing Deepa’s dejection at her own inability to implement things. Varsha and Deepa lived in the same building, and would often carpool together- their offices were quite nearby and they would often spend their lunch-time together whenever possible.

During one such lunches, they both got into a conversation around Deepa’s new year resolutions. From wanting to eat healthier, to starting her own Youtube channel, Deepa had everything planned out. The planning and the resolutions themselves were quite realistic, so there was really nothing that could prevent Deepa. And as had been mentioned earlier, something was stopping her.

‘I don’t know what is happening Varsha ji. I wake up everyday and look at my post-it notes, my step-by-step planning. But I get scared.’

‘Scared of what dear Deepa?’ Varsha inquired with a gentle expression. She indeed had much love, like an older sister, for Deepa.

‘I am scared of so many big and small things. I am scared, for example, my Youtube channel will not work. Or it might work too well and I will be overwhelmed by it all. I am scared that my resolution to wake up early and get into fitness will result in detection of some new health problem that might prevent me from fulfilling my resolution. And for some resolutions, I am just plain scared that I might fail. Every day I wake up with the hope that today these fears will go away and I will be able to start implementing my resolutions. But the fears don’t seem to be going away.’

‘That’s a lot to be scared of!’ Varsha let out a small chuckle but quickly her expression changed into something Deepa was sort of familiar with; the ‘boss-lady’ expression who got things done and who helped get her employees to new heights. With a firm, resolute expression but with ever more warmth, Varsha said,

‘Deepa, the fears may never go away. You may never stop getting scared. Sometimes, even I get scared. I have my fears too.’

‘Really? Then what do you do when you get scared? How do you make the fear go away?’

Varsha took a deep breath and continued, ‘The fears never go away. Or they go away for some moments and then they come back. They key is to go ahead despite the fears.’

Deepa thought about it for a bit and asked, ‘But what if it’s my instinct that’s preventing something bad happening? A woman’s gut feeling is said to be very strong…’

‘Agreed. But gut feeling will not leave you questioning and anxious; gut feeling doesn’t paralyze you- it leaves you feeling stronger and firmer with your decision to do or not do something. Fear on the other hand leaves you feeling miserable; you feel like a failure and you begin questioning your own capabilities. You seem to be in fear, don’t you think?’

Deepa nodded.

Varsha continued, ‘Yes. Fears are going to be there. Yet you must get up and chase your dreams, big or small. You must not, cannot, wait for fears to subside. I still do some things where my heart beats faster than usual, where I get worried about what lies next, where all sorts of possibilities form in my head. And yet, I go for it. I have planned things. I have prepared. I have done what is expected of me to do- my ‘karma’. Ideally, I shouldn’t be scared but if I am, then so be it. I do what I want and need to do, even if I am scared.’

And with this, Deepa found new courage to go ahead and start with ticking off one new year resolution at a time, with her impeccable planning. For some of those, she was scared. But she went ahead, anyway, scared.

Team UHR wishes everyone a very happy new year. May the year bless us with courage to implement our plans, and face our fears with the courage to go for what we want, even if it is scary. There is courage in doing it scared.