Tag: mental health

How to Deal with a Colleague Who is Going Through Personal Turmoil

We all have days when we show up to work with big and small sorrows and inner turmoil.

The contemporary work culture with all its recognition for having a work-life balance comes with this catch: even in times of personal turmoil, the work life goes on.

Have we all not faced, some points in our lives, in varying intensities, situations like:  

  1. Things are not that great at home due to many complex reasons but you must continue to do your job and meet all the deadlines as if everything is alright.
  2. Your pet is unwell, and you must look after the pet’s health, take them to the veterinarian and make sure you finish the project you were tasked with.
  3. A loved one’s health is deteriorating but time is running out for that report you have to turn in.
  4. You are feeling out of sorts and in very low spirits but it’s not a good enough reason to skip work.

The list of big and small issues that disturb our mental peace and flow goes on.

There’s only so many leaves and breaks one can take. Big and small stresses of life come and go, but the work goes on. To work, we must go. We often seek out support from our colleagues during tough times, and sometimes we are the ones providing the support that is needed.

Generally, it is believed that people who have been through similar situations can relate to each other better. As a result, when we come to know that, say, a colleague has faced a problem like ours, we naturally go to them for some support. It is a fair rationale. After all it always helps to know that what we might be facing is not a problem unique to our own selves.

But is that always a good option? Recent research by Harvard Business Review says otherwise. Take this little scenario as an example:

Sona was going through a fall out with an old friend of hers. With this stressed out and emotional mindset, she had to go to the office. She didn’t want to use up her leaves, and didn’t want to make an issue out of her emotional state. She also felt that going to work will help her distract from her problems for a while and let her focus and recalibrate. A sensible approach, except this one thing she did: she came to know that a colleague had gone through a falling out like hers recently, and so Sona decided to have a talk with her, hoping to find an empathetic ear who would understand her mindset well.

After the talk, Sona felt even worse.

Why? Her colleague gave a natural empathetic response- generally, we bring up our own similar stories because we don’t want the other person to feel alone. The colleague kept bringing up her own story whenever Sona was telling hers. But did this approach work? Not for Sona.

Sona started to imagine scenarios based on the colleague’s own story, and now she was stressing over things that hadn’t even happened. She started to imagine problems which she hadn’t even thought of until her conversation with her colleague. She started to ruminate and felt even more down in the dumps through the day.

As professionals and colleagues trying to add some humanity in a workplace, what can we do better when a colleague approaches us with an intention to unburden themselves?

  • Listen: Listen and don’t bring up your own related or/and relatable experiences. It is a natural response but a person who wants to unburden their sorrows often just wants to be heard.
  1. Ask: When unsure how to respond, just ask. Ask your colleague if they want to just vent or are they looking for suggestions and advices or do they want a distraction. Respond accordingly.
  2. Do not judge: Validate their problems and don’t belittle their issues. You may have battled tougher problems and resolved heavier issues than what your colleague is telling you about. In such instances, gently encourage your colleague to rise above the sorrows and griefs, but do not question their sorrow and grief. Big or small, sorrows and griefs are psychological realities for those experiencing them.
  3. Just talk: Ask questions with an intention to make them talk and not with an intention to get to know more about the problem. The former approach of asking the right questions can help lighten the burden and the tension; the latter might make someone feel like they are being interrogated.

Navigating work while going through personal turmoil is difficult. As colleagues trying to humanise a work culture which demands everyone to put up a brave face and keep going, we can do our bit by reading the room, understanding the situation and the individuals we are dealing with, and do our best to lighten the numerous invisible burdens that we all carry within.

Tips to Manage Work Related Anxiety

Anxiety is normal, and isn’t something to be ashamed about. Anxiety calls for us to tweak how we function and look after ourselves.

Have you ever felt a sense of dread or panic flow through you as you think about work? Have you felt a sense that you are constantly being judged by your colleagues and employers to the extent that you are conscious about every little mistake you make? Chances are, you have work related anxiety.

Being stressed about workload is normal. Caring about your work, and thus making sure you give your best is a good thing. But on an extreme end of this spectrum lies work related or workplace anxiety where the extreme worry manifests in symptoms such as:

  • Inability to concentrate, difficulty in breathing, tightness of chest, overwhelm
  • Extreme nervousness or persistent nervousness
  • A need for perfection and hyper-focusing on mistakes, feeling like one slip-up will cause a massive downfall. In other words, engaging in catastrophic thinking

The good news is that anxiety can be managed and one can even channelise it in a different, healthier direction. (Shoutout to an article by Manah Wellness for inspiring us to have this conversation!)

Here are some tips to manage work related/workplace related anxiety.

Create your boundaries:

Boundaries are your best friend. Creating boundaries enables you to only take up that which you can and are willing to, and ensuring you remain in your own energetic space. Creating physical boundaries looks like owning up your space:

  • Decorate your cubicle in ways that make you feel comfortable.
  • Little post-it notes of affirmations, pictures and small objects on your desk that give you emotional support- these are all ways one can ensure one’s space remains one’s own.
  • It also involves not compromising on your health and nutrition; taking breaks as and when needed, and not forgetting to eat well and drink water.

Creating emotional and psychological boundaries can look like:

  • Politely declining to talk about one’s personal life, or using tact to make sure you don’t divulge too many personal details.
  • Finding other ways to ‘participate’, when conventional ways to socialise feel too overwhelming.
  • Declining, delegating or asking for more time if you have reached your limit and you cannot take up extra work. Work-life balance is not just a buzzword to use!

Boundaries aren’t ways to be cold to people, or to push people away. Boundaries in fact can act as our own fuel which enable us to provide the best version of ourselves.

Speaking of best version…

Understand that anyone can make honest mistakes:

Being your best version isn’t about taking extra stress to be the best! Many of us put so much pressure on ourselves to be the perfect colleague, or the star performer, or just to make sure we are hustling to the best of our abilities, that we forget that mistakes are a part and parcel of life. We think a slip-up from us will be remembered forever, and its impact would be irreversible. Tell your anxiety, that the world isn’t waiting to see you slip up!

The thing is, it’s okay to make mistakes, and it’s okay to not be perfect and be on a learning curve. People, groups or organisations will find ways to figure things out even if a big mistake has been made.

Catastrophic thinking and fear about making mistakes and slip-ups only prevents us from living a fuller life and reaching our potential.

Ask for help, accept the good:

An attitude of seeing the positive in everything can go a long way in helping us cope with anxiety. It’s a blessing that as the world is changing, many organisations these days provide counselling services, and other resources to work with. As awareness about mental health increases, many bosses and colleagues are also willing to offer support and destigmatise in whatever they can. All you have to do is look around and ask.

There are multiple mental health well-being apps, digital well-being features on phones that are here to help in managing our anxiety.  

Anxiety about work is not something to be swept under the carpet, and it’s not something to be ashamed about. It’s a sign of our mind and body’s innate wisdom. Anxiety is a signal from our mind and body to pause, and reevaluate our approach to our well-being.

What Employers can do to Ensure Mental and Physical Well-Being of Employees

How well are people in Indian offices doing when it comes to mental-health? What can employers do to ensure their employees do not become a part of the recent statistics on depression and general psychological well-being? As an article by One-to-One Help mentions, around 42% of Indian workforce is depressed. There has been reported around 40 to 50% of increase in employees suffering from anxiety and depression, primarily as a result of demanding work schedules and high stress levels. 23% of the workforce suffers from obesity, 9% from high blood pressure, 8% from diabetes and 5.5% from spondylosis. They are all more or less caused by high levels of stress, and in a vicious cycle, keep contributing to the stress because of the way they affect the mental and physical well-being of the employees, eventually leading to a burnout.

In the light of these statistics, it is important that employers and management level personnel take steps to ensure that the workplace becomes a conducive environment for the mental and physical well-being of their employees. What steps can be taken? Let us quickly have a look.

Creating a Psychologically Safe Space:

A Gallups study shows that employees whose managers are always willing to listen to them about their problems are 62% less likely to be burned out. So, maybe one of the ways workplaces can become places conducive to employee well-being is making them psychologically safe. Psychologically safe means that the employees should be able to voice their feedback, concerns, ideas, express vulnerabilities and even negative feedback without feeling afraid or/and without fear of harsh repercussions. The workplace should be a place of trust and a space that allows the employees to be authentic within the boundaries of professionalism, of course. We have talked in one of our earlier articles about how the workplace can create spaces where it is okay to voice negative feedback and emotions without fear of being judged. It is all about acknowledging the problems, listening actively even when a solution isn’t at hand and thinking about realistic ways of dealing with the problems, instead of always trying to remain positive. This is especially needed when the issues that are said to be causing stress and burnout need to be addressed- the problem must be acknowledged instead of sweeping it under the carpet of positivity.

Fostering Teamwork, Community and Accountability:

Mental and physical well-being of the employees can also be cultivated by encouraging team-work and demanding accountability, as the article by One-to-One Help points out. The former could be achieved by undertaking fun team-building trips and activities every once in a while, or by having informal non-work-related talking chai sessions where employees can engage in casual chit-chat, and improve their individual and group dynamics. Well-being workshops can also be organised every once in a while. It is about ensuring a healthy sense of community.

Although, activities of fun are enjoyable for most people, employers also need to ensure these activities don’t become enforced demands of ‘mandatory fun’. Some employees just wouldn’t like to spend too much time in crowds because of their individual nature. If forced participation is more likely to affect their work and stress levels in a negative manner, then they should be given options to not participate.

Demanding accountability is all about creating certain ground-rules about how to approach unpleasant or difficult situations, how to respond and other rules of engagement. A sense of accountability ensures that we take responsibility about each other, which in turn fosters a safe community.

Ensuring Ergonomic Welfare:

Besides all these psychological tools, it is also a good idea for employers to ensure ergonomic welfare. As an article by The Business Goals points out, ergonomic welfare is often forgotten in the office. Ergonomic welfare includes ensuring the physical wellbeing of employees isn’t affected by long hours of screen-time, bad posture for prolonged periods of time and about maintaining a comfortable, workable physical environment for them in the office. Employers can take steps to keep reminding their employees to take frequent breaks, walks around the office etc. If possible, employers can also create small lounging areas where employees can sit around for sometime and decompress.

Thus, employers, managers, leaders can take these simple humane steps to ensure their employees can trust the office environment, be their authentic selves, create well-functioning bonds with their colleagues, be productive in their work and have better days at work. Depression, anxiety, burnout are things built up over time through the small and big issues. Ensuring an environment of mental and physical well-being in the office ultimately ensures a positive step towards fostering the desired company culture and mission.