Tag: productivity

Comparison: Not Always a Thief of Joy

image to show good comparison

Ayaan was at a mental space where a lot of us may have been from time to time:

He was having a good day at office. He had been happy with how a team meeting had gone by, and how the next set of objectives was looking like. That good day though was soon engulfed by a gloom. Why? In one of the objectives listed out, he was supposed to have his general manager get in touch with the general manager of one of the client companies he was working with. Who was the general manager of this client company? His own classmate!

He and this classmate had started out together. They had studied from the same university, and had the same certifications. So how was it that the classmate had reached a higher post before him? How was it that Ayaan reported to a general manager, and this classmate himself had become the general manager?

Ayaan was wracking his brain, deep into comparison: ‘How did this classmate’s career progressed more than mine even though we started out at the same time?’ ‘How much does he earn, I wonder?’ ‘Why did he get this opportunity, and how come I did not? How unlucky for me!’ ‘What if I had done that one other course instead of…?’ and so on.

All kinds hows and whys and what ifs were playing in Ayaan’s mind.

They say comparison is the thief of joy.

But is it so that we should never undertake any kind of comparison? After all, sometimes, it is the pressure to excel that motivates us to work harder. It is not a good idea to always be in a bubble, too comfortable in one’s life- that can lead to a lack of growth and wasted potential. Some comparison, some challenge, some striving for getting better is needed.

As James Clear, writer of the book ‘Atomic Habit’ says, comparison of the wrong things is the thief of joy. If one compares the wrong things, it can make one miserable. But if one compares the right things, and actually embraces the challenge to ‘win’ in the comparison at some point, it can lead to growth and improvement.

Ayaan is miserable because he compared the big things, the ‘wrong’ things like career trajectory, income, opportunities got and luck found.

What he can do instead is compare the little things. Little things such as: ‘What would be the classmate’s networking style that led him to this opportunity?’ ‘How does the classmate maintain his composure in such a high-pressure job?’ ‘What does his classmate do when it comes to task and time management?’ ‘What sort of strategies does he use which I can learn from?’

And so on.

Comparing the little things, the right things means comparing the concrete things. Things one can actually understand and learn from. Things which one can actually implement, and hone based on one’s own requirements and needs. Things which we can take under our control. Things which are not governed by luck and one’s life situation.

So yes, comparison of the wrong things is the thief of joy. Comparison of the right things can be fuel for our growth.

An ‘Unkind’ Way to be Kind

Negative criticism, telling someone they are rejected could sometimes be the kindest ‘unkind’ things we do for them.

Anisha has had a not-so-great interview. It was just one of those days. She knew it had not gone too well, and she just wanted to move past it. She wanted to now look into what could be done next. She was prepared for a ‘no’ and just wanted to hear it so that she could plan ahead.

Instead, what she received in her e-mail was something else. She was told that they find her promising and they will reach out to her as required.

She did not like this. Why? We will get to that reason soon.

Let us look at one more scenario before that.

Ashu had been assigned to mentor an intern named Vikas. Vikas was quite eager to learn- he often accompanied Ashu to major meetings, and networking events to get more ‘real world’ experience. The only issue with Vikas was that he sometimes said things out loud a bit too bluntly. Where someone could have been wrong, Vikas simply pointed it out. There was no constructive feedback, or no follow up questions that may give the other a chance to speak about their side of things. Ashu noticed this habit and wanted to point it out to Vikas but he held back fearing it might upset their dynamic. Or that Vikas might not take it in the right spirit.

Ashu’s approach was not the best if we look at it in the long run. Why?

The reason is the same as why Anisha also did not like that e-mail she received.

The reason being a lack of honesty and in turn, lack of clarity.

When Anisha is left with that uncertain e-mail, it gives her false hopes. Thoughts will come to her such as  ‘They are saying they find me promising so I guess I still have a chance…’ or ‘What if they call just when I take up another job?’

If they had simply said that although she is promising, her profile does not fit what they are looking for, Anisha would have got that message loud and clear. A negative message for sure, and a bit of a heartbreak even, but she would know that it’s time for her to move on and look elsewhere.

When Ashu refrained from telling Vikas that the latter needed to be wiser with his interactions, speak more gently, be a better listener, more curious and less judgmental, Vikas would have known what was the issue with his ways. He would have learned something about himself. After all, Ashu is the mentor, and it is okay if he points this out, in fact, he should point this out. On the other spectrum is of course, the bluntness that we saw in the intern’s ways of speaking, which needs correction.

The current culture tells us to be kinder to each other. We see tons of online content, telling how people might be struggling with their own silent battles and thus we should be more considerate. We are often scared to tell people something clearly, and hope that the issue will resolve itself.

This is seen in the form of professional ghosting, feedback sandwiched in jargon or feedback that is more about pointing out mistakes and less about giving clarity about the corrections needed.  Feedback that doesn’t tell anything concrete. Ultimately all these forms of communication with a lack of clarity lead to systems lacking transparency.

Clarity and honesty are gifts that could act like (somewhat) bitter medicines that ultimately lead to good. Saying no, giving negative but constructive feedback, calling the situation as it is- these all lead to clarity, redirection and ultimately growth. We can be kind with it. In fact, sometimes, that is the kindest thing we can do to.

Don’t Forget to Enjoy the Game While Scoring Goals!

image of a goal and a clock representing living in the moment while setting goals

What is common between someone waiting for their promotion and a grumpy toddler in the car asking every five minutes ‘are we there yet’?

They both keep waiting for a destination, and they ignore the wonderful present.

We have all been there. We wait for the perfect moment, the perfect reward to find happiness and purpose. Once xyz happens, I will be/do abc. We can use this template for any number of instances:

  • Once I get that promotion, I will be happy.
  • Once I get that job, I will be happy.
  • Once I get happy, I will be able to engage with my job in a better way.
  • Once I land that job, I will start living a healthier lifestyle.
  • Once I finish this task, I will give more time to my family.
  • Once I achieve my goal…then…

A cycle of promises that might never end.

Go back to maybe ten-fifteen years ago. Did you have the same goals? And did you make some of these conditional promises to yourself at that time as well? For some of us, this thought experiment may lead to a sense of accomplishment- that we were able to indeed fulfil some of those promises. You may have promised yourself that you will learn time-management better once you finish your exams and have more mental space to make priorities, and you did manage to learn that. You may have promised yourself that once you reach a certain post, you will buy your first car, and you did manage to buy it. You may have promised yourself that once that goal has been achieved, you will become happier and life will become better. Life may have become happier and better for a while.

Did that last? 

Look at us now, using the same template of making promises to ourselves, delaying our happiness. Delaying our sense of gratitude.  Living in stress, and waiting for goal to be fulfilled. Waiting to arrive at the destination, ignoring the journey.

The goalposts of life are forever moving, forever in making. Once we achieve a goal, we build a new goalpost. The significance of the old goal and the goalpost slowly starts to wane.

Once we achieve a goal, we often forget to look around and instead keep looking straight ahead.

Of course, it is good to plan things ahead and think long-term. It is great to have foresight. But it is also necessary to remember Life is always moving ahead, it always goes on. And it WILL bring new aspirations, new landmarks, new promises, new conditions.

And one must not forget to enjoy the process, enjoy the present. Doing so lets us:

  • Enjoy the results of that thing one worked really hard for.
  • Pause and notice what is around us, that may help us to actually work on our processes for our goals in a more precise manner. Imagine worrying so much about who to network with once we get that promotion, and forgetting to network with our present colleagues and seniors who may have a lot to offer!
  • Be happy in the present moment.
  • Find meaning in the present moment and find meaning when life goes in flux. Take the very unfortunate scenario of not being able to achieve the goal for some reason, despite the hard work. Having enjoyed the process, one would have garnered many life lessons, professional and personal development and insights about what could have been done better. One would be developing a healthy respect for their present situation, while looking forward to what lies ahead. Not having enjoyed the process? One would go into an existential crisis of sorts- one might feel that now that the goal hasn’t been achieved, everything that gave meaning to your life may feel like it’s lost. Why? Because the goal had become everything.

So, as we set goals, let us enjoy the process of reaching that goal. The goalposts will keep shifting, and the game shall go on. And the point is to enjoy the game nevertheless.

Transitioning from 2024 to 2025

As the new year sets in, the transition from 2024 to 2025 might feel…surprisingly underwhelming. After the parties and celebrations, we go back to work. The festive season, which kicks off in many places worldwide October onwards, now comes to an end, and motivation levels might be hard to maintain.

In fact, the pressure to make resolutions and start the new year with a bang might work with a reverse psychology- this pressure making it difficult to start doing anything, forget new year resolutions.

Amidst this, how can one make the transition from 2024 to 2025 smoothly, in a productive manner?

Keep Up the Momentum

Most workplaces globally had holidays and out-of-office days. Many workplaces though may not have had that long break, and enjoyment of festivities may have been done vicariously, or/and along with the rhythm of the work already going. In fact, many professionals and workers may have been working harder during the festive season. If generally speaking, there is no burnout and you have actually enjoyed this momentum, why break that rhythm now?

This is a great time to actually keep that rhythm going, stick to that work ethic. Keep the normalcy in your work routine intact, and keep up the momentum. This is a great way to ensure a smooth productive transition to the year.

However, if you are still someone who’d like to start things afresh or at least with a sense of something ‘new’, the next point might work out for you.

Set Your Priorities

Make a realistic to-do list. Something concrete. Sort out the tasks that are urgent, tasks that can wait, and tasks that need a change of direction. After all, just because the date changed, doesn’t mean old tasks have disappeared with the calendar flip as well!

If you are someone who feels life is going to feel mundane and boring now that the festivities are over, the next point comes to the rescue!

The Festivities of Daily Life

Why wait for special occasions to enjoy? Enjoyment at a big scale is fun and something we all must indulge in, but enjoyment through the little things in life can bring as much joy. In fact, this is a joy that can sustain. Festivals will come and go, but you can still try to see your loved ones more often. You can keep your workspace beautiful and decorative without a big reason. You can still do things like taking a different route to and from work once in a while to break the monotony of daily life. You can wear a different colour than what you usually wear. Celebrating life and our small triumphs is always an option, regardless of the calendar.

You can still give yourself the gift of optimism and abundance. Life is here to be experienced in all its shades and forms, and it is indeed this dance between the routine and the festive. Be it routine or festive, life is still a dance that can be enjoyed in countless ways. So let 2025 be the year when the version of you that you knew is now looking into a new sunrise, a new attitude to the shades of life and perhaps, you might become someone that inspires someone around you.

Team UHR wishes everyone a very happy and successful new year!

Yoga Day Special: Understanding Our Worries

This Yoga Day, let us expand our understanding of ourselves, including what worries us, and how we can manage those worries.

yoga day image, guy meditating in worry to show ways to do focused yoga

Two friends, Anita and Esha were having a conversation over coffee. Anita looked worried. When asked what was wrong, she said what many of us must have felt at one point. Some of us may also be feeling this way as we read this.

‘Everything worries me. Every decision I make, I overanalyse. I worry about everything. It’s as if the overthinking will never ever stop. I feel anxious all the time, and I haven’t been able to get anything done on time. It’s really affecting me.’

Esha listened, and gently comforted Anita, saying, ‘We all are consumed by the overthinking monster every once in a while. It’s okay, you can manage this. Trust me.’

‘How? I have tried relaxation techniques. It helps a bit, but only temporarily. Yoga usually helps me but these days, even that is not helping.’

Esha went in further and said, ‘How about you try this yoga to control the mind, and manage? Yoga won’t help much unless you know what you wish to manage through the Yoga practice. Whenever you find yourself on one of your overthinking sprees, see which one type seems to be bothering you:

Anita listened with curiosity and nodded. Esha continued:

‘If you constantly find yourself ruminating over past decisions, past mistakes and bad feedback, you are most likely a past analyser.

‘If you constantly find yourself worrying about the future, and anticipating problems which don’t really exist at present, you are most likely a future analyser.

‘If you constantly find yourself over analysing any decision, and find yourself unable to actually make a decision, getting in a state of analysis paralysis, you are most likely an over-analyser. ‘

Anita seemed to have found her problem as a gleam of recognition came into her eyes. ‘What to do when I find myself into one of these states?’

Esha went on,

‘For the past analyser, scheduling a ‘worry time’ during the day might help, where one sits with these feelings of worry, and find out which of these worries can be solved, and which can be left in the past. The ones which can be solved can be dealt in a head on way.

‘For the future analyser, visualisation exercises might help, where you imagine yourself overcoming these anticipated hurdles. This small perspective shift can help a lot.

‘For the over analyser, understand that perfection is a myth, and that mistakes are part and parcel of life. Any path we take, we can always course correct. There is no need to analyse each and every detail- trust that you can figure things out as they come.’

As Anita listened to this, she felt her anxiety ease up a little. The knots in her mind slowly started to loosen up.

We all must have been in Anita’s state of mind. Overthinking.

Wondering why our relaxation techniques, and a disciplined practice of yoga isn’t helping.

Wondering when will this overthinking monster leave us.

The key to make the best use of our abilities is to understand what kind of worries consume us, and our minds, and finding ways to manage those. Yoga isn’t just about asanas and postures- it is an active practice of understanding ourselves, and finding the best possible way to make the best use of that understanding of ourselves. Yoga encapsulates practices of introspection, and practices to make that introspection meaningful, such as meditation, visualisations, and countless such centring practices.

This Yoga day, let us remind ourselves that we have an incredible ability to manage our minds. Yoga when done with a sense of purpose, and with the right focus and with the right technique, can help us become calmer and more centred individuals. In turn, we can become individuals who are in tune with our inner and the outer world, leading to professional and personal success, peace and prosperity. What’s more, now we can Overcome the Overthinking Monster.